Jasper County Democrat, Volume 21, Number 80, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 January 1919 — JACKSON TOWNSHIP, NEWTON COUNTY [ARTICLE]

JACKSON TOWNSHIP, NEWTON COUNTY

Still a case of Influenza here and there. After all, old December could have done worse. “T. R. wants to be President/’ says a Chicago paper. Sure that’s one of the Colonel’s little peculiarities. The city dailies, it would seem, just can’t get over the habit of having Kaiser Bill killed off by an assassin about ever so often. The trouble with the Hearst papers, the more they explain their conduct during the present war, the more apparent becomes their guilt. So far, this has been a good winter for the local weather prophet. Most any old guess as to the weather turned out to be a good guess. Noah Miller will work for Joseph Chizum next season and will live in Mr. Chizum’s tenant house just north of Miller’s present residence.

We are told that thero is honor among theives, and, come to think of it, that is the only distinction between this class and some “honest’’ men. / Young America was given only a day off from school during the week of Christmas, but th J, Rabbit family no doubt thought that was plenty. Edgar Steward. recorder-elect, was calling on old in this vicinity Monday eveniu* Before going to the county seat to take up his official duties. You just can’t keep a good town down. “Quite a time in Fair Oaks last Sunday,’’ writes a correspondent to The Mt. Ayr Tribune. “Frank McCoy shot a wolf east of town.” Mrs. E. R. Schanlaub of Morocco, who was called to Sparks, Nevada, about two weeks ago by the serious illness of her daughter, Mrs. Elsie Burhans, writes back home that her daughter is much better. It may be just a coincident, but we have observed that the name of the farmer who plants his corn the latter part ’of June and husks it the next March is seldom found in the list of best ten-ear prize winners.

In connection with the recent snow, the Chicago Herald and Examiner says: “The children have .‘came’ into their own at Lincoln Park.” Going to show what rotten grammar is as indigenous to the soil aqd climate of these here United States as rotten politics. Sidney Schanlaub is slicing off a few more feet of Cleveland park this’'winter. With farm land cavorting around the two hundred dollars an acre Schanlaub feels that six to eight acres devoted to the memorv of his best beloved President is about he can stand. We should like to see honest Abe give, that mail route the eternal shake ' and pass his declining years in the comfort and quietude of home. Not that we are tired of Abe —not on your life —Abe is the best mail carrier ever, but he has faced the storms of this unfriendly world long enough and is* deserving of a rest. Mrs. Lydia Johnson who, with her daughter, has been visiting her neice, Mrs. Clarence Blankenbaker, went to North Manchester last Mondey for a short visit with her sister, Mrs. Wm. Stucker, and other relatives. Later Mrs. Johnson and daughter will go to Minnesota to keep house for her nephew, Ed Windier. Henry Deardurff, bachelor and agriculturist, aside from his regular farm, work, raised eighty fine turkeys this year, we are told. Now, take eighty turkeys at about $4.50 each and it means a little wad of “kale” that is not to be grinned at, especially when the fact is taken into consideration that a turkey with any git up in ‘him at all will rustle ,a good portion of his living.

A good time to raise beef and pork is when feeders seemingly go stark raving crazy and dump their stock on the market regardlese of price or the condition of the stock, Lately farmers have been rushing their hogs to the market because it doesn’t-pay t,o feed them. Just why it should pay to feed hogs last winter and not at the present time, with conditions about the same, is another question. A plan has been launched, it is said, to supply poor’farmers in the Holy Land with American mules, as an aid to tilling the soil -in that region. The schemie appears feasible. With a title coaching in handling the U. S. bullsnake whip and in the language necessary to stimulate the mule to action, the natives around Jerusalem and our long-eared friend should be able to get along together nicely. Said a banker to the writer not long ago: “I don’t know what I will do if these Democratic times keep up./ Farmers are paying off mortgages, bank all cluttered up with idle currency,’’ while every blame native is toting a wad big enough to choke a cow. Under -such cbn-

dition# how in beck is a poor banker to earn a living?” And the money changer glared savagly at a farmer who at that moment stepped in to deposit the proceeds of a car logd of hogs. Not long ago a man told us that a certain lawyer charged him thirty dollars for less than two hours actual work; and the man appeared hurt and covertly hinted at the possibility of his joining the bolshevik, or something equally ter* rlble, at an earl£ day. This does seem like a lots of money, for a little work. Now, as we recall it, in the good old days “Bill’’ Darrooh used to come down into Jackson township and put 'in a whole day defending or prosecuting cases for the natives, and five dollars was a God’s plenty. Bill used to say. Says a local paper: “Large victrolas have been placed in both the Roselawn and Thayer schools. The children now march into and \ out of these school buildings to the strains of delightful music.” When the writer attended school under old Jeb Dollerhide 'he marched into and out of th'e school building as a rule, to the sweet strains of a green-heart belaying pin in the ( hands of aforesaid Jeb. We are interposing no objection to the vlctrola in the school room. Far be it from us to assume the role of death’s head at the feast in mat’ ters Involving the gayety and general uplift of our educational Institutions. We desire simply to state in a conversational sort of way how Jeb Dollerhide conducted this marching stunt back in yonder. v

We spend tens of thousand of dollars annually for the prevention of cruelty to dumb animals — Which is right and proper—but how much do we spend annually for the prevention of cruelty to the American boy? Who, in this socalled enlightened age, receives so many unwarranteu Insults and rebuffs as the American boy? Who jis forced to wear Dad’s old pants and sister’s cast off sweater? The American boy. Who is vilified and brow-beaten if, after working faithfully all summer, he asks for an evening off and the price of a hair cut? The American boy. When there is company, at dinner who is made to wait, no matter how hungry he may be, until the older folks get through eating and talking? The American boy. Who is lied to, misrepresented, bullied and given the dirty end of the stick generally? The American boy, of course. Too many people howl about the heathen in Africa, while, seemingly, caring not a tinker’s darn about the boy in America. We would rather have the blessed assurance that we stand well with one American boy than to have {he friendship of all the heathens we ever knew.

North Star church will be abandoned, we are told—will be turned over to the owl and the bat, and its sweet-toned bell that has called the people to worship* for so many years will cease to awake the echoes. This is just another reminder that the country church, along with the other good old institutions, is rapidly being relegated to the Shades. For many years North Star was a sort of Mecca for the citizens of this community. Here they met each Sunday, struck glad hands one with the other, discussed the questions of the day and worshiped God. Between the land owner and the hired hand there was no inequality, between the front pew and the back pew there was no distinction. If Sister A’s baby was fretful and cried duribg meeting she wasn’t glared tat and made to feel that she was an intruder; and Brother B. could rise and tell his experience, and if his tie didn’t exactly gibe with the color of his hat or if his coat sagged a little in the back, no one minded it. Then came the stone road and the automobile and the two together hit North Star a jolt from which it never recovered. The young people now must needs attend the church in town where everything is finer and more in accordance with their idea of the eternal fitness of things. And here you have the main cause for the passing of the Country church. Of course the editor of The Democrat is right, with reference to his remarks about fortune telling and kindered folks, but, whether his effort to enlighten the dear people on this subject results in any good, is another question. The hardy perennial variety of human sucker is indigenous to all soils and climates, and, as a rule, he is deaf and blind and dumb to good advice. That is why the man who •advertises a genuine diamond ring for ten cents is doing a nice thriving business, just as his father and grandfather did before him. Phineas T. Barnum' said that the American people liked to be huni'bugged, and Phin uttered a whole mouthful when he said it. In all the depots of Chicago you- will see signs that fairly scream the warning, “Don’t Be Enticed From The .Depot By Strangers.” A policeman at one of these depots told us not long ago that in spite of these warnings and other means to prevent it, every day sun-kissed-Jakes from the rural districts persisted in being enticed from the building and robbqd. Bill Punkinbutter of Fayette county arrives in the city wearing a variegated necktie, a celluloid collar and a knowing look. Bill is the town cut-up back home and wise in his own conceit. Bill reads the warning sign, winks at himself and then goes forth 5 In company with an. affable gentleman whom Bill met on the train, who lives in the fourth town down the road from Bill’s town, end who is well acquainted with Bill’s uncle. Later the affable gent entices Bill to the seclusion of an alley, sinites him on the dome with something hard and unyielding and Bill goes to the mat for the entire count. The rest is soon told. In time Bill arrives home footsore and weary, penniless and with an emptiness in the region of the stomach big euopgh

to shed a yearling mule. Aye, verily, we are a bunch of wise guys. We go forth in the pride of our strength and a polkadot vest to Show the denisens of the city a few original stunts and the next day we beat our way home on an empty freight, red-eyed and bedraggled, with a buzzard’s breath and a dime that the gang overlooked. But, as hinted at elsewhere in this gem of thought, in spite of oceans of sober Christian advice and warning handed out from time to time, the number of people who, seemingly, are not only, willing but anxious to be “enticed from t'he depot,*’ is about the same as it has always been. And, Judging by the past, it seems not unreasonable to assume that people will cnotlnue to assume that people will continue to patronize the fortune teller and buy diamond rings at ten cents each —and that the beautiful and emart Alexanders of this broad domain will continue to visit our commercial centers and whoopem up Lizzie Jane, "limping home later by way of the sheep pasture in order to evade the scrutinizing eye of a cold unfeeling world.