Jasper County Democrat, Volume 21, Number 66, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 November 1918 — PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON

In olden times I paid out mon to have my chores and errands done. I paid one man to mow the grass and hoe the growing garden sass; another came to prime the pump and take the tin cans to the dump; I paid a man to wash m/ car, and dope the kitchen roof with tar. While there were men who worked for hire, 1 just sat ’round and pawed my lyre, with hands as white as driven snow—no sort of labor did they know. And I had lost my appetite, and couldn’t get much sleep at night, and I was fat and short of breath and looking for an early death. Then all the fellows went to scrap and shoo the Prussian off the map, and none could come to do a chore or run an errand any more. I was obliged to shake my sloth, and, as a toiler, cut a swath. I milked the cow and groomed the hen, and mowed the lawn, like other men; and when my car was out of whack I lay beneath it, on my back, and tried' to remedy the wreck, while slimy grease ran down my neck. I painted fences green and blue, and found a hundred things to do; and now my health is out of sight, and when I go to bed at night my slumber is so calm and deep It show’s new curves in balmy sl"ep, and savants come from miles away to see just how I hit the hay. Three women cook by day and night to cater to my appetite. A lot of old fat boys like me are learning wrinkles two or three.