Jasper County Democrat, Volume 21, Number 65, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 November 1918 — JUST A LITTLE SMILE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

JUST A LITTLE SMILE

Confidence. "Do you think Josh is learning fas* In the army?” said Mrs. Corntossel. “I’m sure of It,” replied her hus* band. ‘‘You know he never stood at th© head of his classes.” “Pm not thinking about how htJ Stood anywhere. I’m thinking about the way he always kept goin’ in a foot* ball game.” it i Name Unknown. “I’m very sorry,” said the grocer, "but I don’t seem to recall your name. I remember your face perfectly, though.” “Yes,” replied tlw lady sarcastically. "You probably never heard my name. I’m the one customer you have who always pays cash.” Opening for Young Man. Ethel—l’m afraid that bell means another caller. Fred (Imploringly)—You, know, there Is such a thing as your not being at home. Ethel (suggestively)—Yes, and there is such a thing as my being engaged.— Tit-Bits. Pests at Rest. “Do you remember the drug store clerk who got you what you wanted and then asked: 'And now what else,’ with the saccharine stress on the ‘now,* when he knew there wasn’t anything else?” “Enjoy yourself. I shot him.” — Sun Dial. Getting His Measure. “Is that new member a good talker?” “Well,” replied Senator Sorghum, “he’s a wonder for endurance. But he doesn’t class up very well for speed.” GLORIOUS.

Miss Sweet —It must be glorious t<J be able to write as you do. Novelist —Yes ; I have got so that I can tip back In my chair, with my feet on the desk, and dictate by the hour. Superfluous. Would you paint the 'Illy? Senseless thing- to do. And to rouge the two-lips, That Is foolish, too. *i Hearing. “You can’t believe everything you hear.” “No,” answered Granny Rllem. "If you could, I’d want to grow deaf as rapidly as possible.” Missed Her Opportunity. Mrs. Blowltt —I could have married four of the Wealthiest men in town. Her Husband —Why didn’t you? The whole four might have been able to pay your dress bills. The Reason. “Fortune frowned on him.” “What did he expect. If you want to get a smile out of fortune you’ve got to do something more than just try to flirt with her.” Well Versed. “Pop, what’s a synonym?” “It’s one of them places where you ge t a big salary and no work to do. Always come to your father, my boy, when you want to know anything." The Usual Way. “What is that string around your Anger for?” “That Is to remind me that I forgot something my wife tied it there for me to remember.” Plain Evidence. “The young writer we met the other day told me he looks into his heart and writes.” “Xes, it Is evident he does not look into his head.” He Knew. Bridegroom—Just look at that young wife. Doesn’t she look queenly? Friend —Yes, she does; but wait until she begins to rule.