Jasper County Democrat, Volume 21, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 June 1918 — PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON

The men who deal in salted mines once found in me an easy mark; they sought me, by any trees and vines, and left my wallet stripped and stark. And agents for the works of Pope, of Scott and Moore and Bertha Clay, were wont to hand me flitn-flani dope, and bear my hard-earned roll away. And people often passed the hat, to build a home for pilted dames: I lacked the nerve to cry out “Scat!’’ I fell for all their threadbare games. The agents still are running loose, they seek my cottage every day; but now I have a good excuse, and shoo them'from my door away. I say to them, “In normal times I'd buy your junk and make no roar; you know I always spilled the dimes right cheerfully in days of yore. I’d gladly buy a ton of books, anrl I’d go in for mining, strong, but I must use my change, gadzooks, to help the Red Cross cause along. I’d gayly buy your duplex lamips, your patent substitute for lard, but every month I buy thrift stamps, and paste them on a printed card. I hate to turn you down like sin, I’d like to gladden all your days, but I must help the allies win, with all the coin that I can raise.” No odds how tired the agents feel, they do not paw the ground or swear: there is no come-back to my spiel; it stops all argument right there.