Jasper County Democrat, Volume 21, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 April 1918 — SCRAPS of HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SCRAPS of HUMOR

One Reason. “I make it a rule,” declared a friend of ours, yesterday, “never to spend a cent that I don’t record, and to practice the strictest eeonomy both in my home and in my office.” “Is this war conservation,” we asked, “or did you always economize that way?” “No, I didn’t always economize,” he answered. “Of course not. If I had always done so, I wouldn’t have to do it now. Silly question!" The Point of Pain. Three-year-old Sydney had the measles, and was a real sick little boy. His anxious grandmother bent over him and asked sympathetically: “Can’t you tell grandmamma where you feel bad?” Without a moment’s hesitation little Sydney answered: “Wight here in bed.” Domestic Diplomacy. "Have you any objection to my marrying your daughter?” “No, sir,” replied Mr. Cumrox. “I’m not saying a word. I know mother and the girls. If I let them find out that I don’t approve of you, they’ll make Gladys accept you just to defy my authority.” An Appropriate Remark. Maud —Charley is so poetical. When I accepted him he said he felt like an immigrant entering a new world. Ethel —Well, there’s sense as well as poetry in that. Wasn’t he just landed ?—London Tit-Bits. j HIS OPPORTUNITY

“I don’t believe there ever was a perfect man.” “Adam would have been perfect, if Eve had only been made first” “What do you mean?” “Well, then she could have bossed the job of making Adam.” Put His Foot in It He told her that she was a brick. She left him standing there— And then there flashed upon his mind. The color of her hair. Use a Grabler Check Protector oa the checks you issue and you need have no fear of the amount .being raised. Nicely nickle-plated, simple and convenient. Only 20 cents each in The Democrat’s fancy* stationery department. ts