Jasper County Democrat, Volume 20, Number 103, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 March 1918 — EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS [ARTICLE]

EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS

When Billy Sunday finishes in Chicago he will go to France. Bihy needs rest and quiet. Boston is to have whale meat. It is hoped the whale won’t crowd the humble bean off the platter. We have permission to eat mutton. But how are we going to get the mutton unless we eat the dog that ate the sheep? That fellow who married his mother-in-law in oirder to avoid the draft, evidently wasn’t suffering from, any want of courage. Maryland voted for nation-wide prohibition but decided to keep her supply of booze on hand in a friendly effort to quench those Washington thirsts. The profiteers seem to have rounded up all the food. Now let the government—round up the -profiteers and we’ll have the yeggs with the goods on them l . Since Uncle Sam has taken over the railroads he can sympathize with the fellow who buys a secondhand car. It’s not in the original cost, it’s in the upkeep. Little Finland asked for a son of the kaiser as her ruler, and the kaiser sent his armies ahead to ba sure of the right kind of a reception for the kid. The kaiser is wise—the kid might get lost. Dispatches state that in Petrograd there are pending 38,000 petitions for divorce. And we’ll bet our last summer's hat they are mostly filed by the women. Mighty few women can love a coward. All honor to Captain Archie Roosevelt! That honorable wound, I received while bravely battling at the front, will go a long way toward reconciling the people here at home to any little ■peculiarities they may not like about the Colonel.

That Eastern fellow who was convicted of assault and fined for kissing his wife against her will, evidently never heard the’ old adage, “When a woman will, she will, you may depend on’t; and when she won’t, she< won’t, and there’s an end on’t.” victor Berger, in his candidacy for United States senator, demands the recall of our troops from France. Couldn't somebody get Victor to do some electioneering over in Canada? Those Canadians have a mighty convincing way of answering-! arguments of that kind. Mrs. Lena Guilbert Ford, author of the immortal song, ‘.‘Keep the Home Fires Burning,” was killed in a German air w raid on London. Mrs. Ford was an American, and never fear but Americans will keep the home fires burning, and our poet’s song and her tragic fate will add fuel to the flames. When Secretary of War Baker was under investigation, among the criticisms leveled at his administration was that he and the war were 3,000 miles apart. The Secretary answered every other criticism to the satisfaction of the country, and then went to France. He is now in close personal touch with the war, and it is hoped his critics are satisfied and will go to boosting. Work is what is needed, anyway, not criticism. -