Jasper County Democrat, Volume 20, Number 80, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 January 1918 — JUST A LITTLE SMILE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

JUST A LITTLE SMILE

Telephone Grandeur. “What’s your opinion of Bommaster?” “Well, when I first met him he impressed me as being a leader of men, a ten thousand-volt dynamo, a clarionvoiced czar who would brook no opposition ; but when I met him the second time I sized him up for a pusillanimous mouse. “Where did you meet him the first time?” I “On the telephone.” Between Girls. Bell—Why, where did Charlie Deadhead get all his money? You know Betsie rejected him because he was so poor. Stell—Yes, I know; when she rejected him she sent back all his love letters and he sold them. Overworking Freedom. “Father,” said the small boy, “what is a free country?” “A free country, my son, is one which compels peaceful citizens to put up money for police protection for anarchists who are trying to destroy the government.” Narrowing Attention. “You don’t seem to care for speechmaking.” “Not any more,” answered Senator Sorghum. “It happens too frequently •now that the man who is making a speech is the only person really interested in it.” Daughter and “Will you marry mer “If mother says so, all right.” “Hum. Is mother going to decide all our questions for us in case this marriage takes place?”—Kansas City Journal. UNEXPECTED.

“I hear your rich old uncle Is dead.* “Yes, he is.” “What did he leave?” “A widow we’d never heard of,” Summer Travel. A man once took a holiday. He worked like mad to get away; And then was kept upon the rack In terror of the journey back. Old Method Revived. “What do you suppose will be the next reform to ship on the educational crusade.” “I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a spanker boom.” Anything but That. - Mrs. Fussbody—lf I don’t get a letter from you every day I’ll feel so lonely I’ll come right back home. Hubby—Never fear; I’ll write twice a day. A Rara Avis. “Mark the perfect man.” “You’d better mark him, when you find him, so that you will know him when you see him again.” These Days. First Housewife —I’m going to buy a dozen eggs. Second Housewife —Who is your broker? 1 There’d Be None Left. Author- —I have put a good deal of my own life into this story. Editor —I wish you had put all of it Into it. Protected. “What would you say, if I were to steal a kiss?” “Nothing; I carry burglary insurance.” Never Again. “How is it you let your wife have her own way.’’ - ~■ . “I once tried to stop her.” Hard Luck Situation. “We met by chance,” “Yes, it was no more your fault thaa It was my misfortune." 1