Jasper County Democrat, Volume 20, Number 74, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 December 1917 — PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON

We asked old Hunk to come across, with wartime contribution. This tightwad is a total loss, except for elocution. He’ll stand around and talk for hours in patriotic manner, and throw all kinds of gaudy flowers at our old, famous banner. Our banner pleases every gent, and all the poets sing it; and twaddle doesn’t cost a cent, so any man can spring it. “Oh, Hunx, we said, “don’t chew the rag; shell coins—the soldiers need ’em.’’ He tried to switch off to the flag, and (sundry boons of freedom. He told how he would die and bleed, if he ■ were under thirty. “Old Hunx,

we said, “you’re cheap, indeed, your scud is pretty dirty. The nation blushes Tor that son with soul of neuter gender, who hands out lanI guage. by the ton, when she needs 'legal tender.” “I've given much,’’ i old Hunx replied, explaining why (he’s living; “no worthy cause has I been denied —it seems I’m always ■ giving. It really makes me shed a tear, the way I halve to squander; I cough up fifteen dollars here, and fifteen dollars yonder.” And he has thousands put away, and tens of thousands hidden! And he is groaning all the day of how he s j nagged and ridden! Before this I war has' had an end, before the final inning, a lot of tightwad souls, i my friend, will undergo a skinning.