Jasper County Democrat, Volume 20, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 September 1917 — Just a q Little Smile [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Just a q Little Smile

In the Library. Newly Rich Hostess —You see, I went to the best bookseller in town and ordered all the gems of literature for our library. Caustic Guest —You ought to have sent for a jeweler when you got them. N. R. H. —Why should I send for a jeweler for books? C. G.—Because most of them, I notice, are uncut gems. Placing Him. “Would you say that Glithers, the capitalist, is an honest manU* I wouldn’t say he’s-an honest man and I wouldn’t say he’s a dishonest man.” “What sort of fellow is he, then?” “One of those persons for whose benefit legal technicalities were invented.” Impossible. “Did you hear what Jinx did?” “No, what?” “Went down into the kitchen for a lunch, and in the dim light he ate a bar of laundry soap in mistake for a stewed carrot, and never knew the difference until morning.” “I don’t believe it. No carrot ever tasted that good.” Setting Them Right. “This writer says the so-called Hawaiian music being played everywhere in this country is nothing of the sort.” ‘Tm glad to hear yon say so,” replied the patron of vaudeville. *Tve always had a kind of admiration for the Hawailans which I was rapidly losing.” Do you use the want ad. columns of The Democrat? If not. try an ad.

NOWHERE.

“Just one little word would make me 50 happy.” “Yes; but where will' you find a jroman who will stop with one word?” Set to Music. Graphophones will soothe the hens; In this experts all concur. So we see them in their pens, Set to music, as It were. The Hard Part. The Sporting Reporter—l suppose it’s hard to get the descriptions of the women’s gown correct? The Society Reporter —No; the hardest part is to write the descriptions so that each person will consider herself the best-dressed woman present. A 50-50 Proposition. “So she has agreed to be yours?” “That was not exactly the way she expressed it.” “No?” “She said she would be as much mine as I would be hefs.” Knew the Symptoms. “George, dear,” said the young wife, “yon are growing handsomer every day.” " “Yes, darling,” replied the wise George, “It’s a habit I seem to have just before your birthday arrives.” None That Old. First Lawyer —How about old Bilyun’s will? Second Lawyer—Oh! he left $15,000 to every unmarried woman of over forty years In the country. First Lawyer—There’ll be no takers. One Guess. John Cornhusk—Whadda say yer hoy’s a-doin’ up ter the city? Cy Taters —B’gosh, he’s a conductor. Josh Cornhusk —Street car, orchesl*ry or eolyum?