Jasper County Democrat, Volume 20, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 September 1917 — EDITORIAL PARARGAPHS [ARTICLE]

EDITORIAL PARARGAPHS

No. it isn’t at' all necessary for a womrn to be a “high flyer’’ to make a good aviator. A non-lgakable gasoline tank has been perfected. What is needed is a non-exhaustable one. If old General Sherman were here now he would have to find some stronger term to describe war. 'We'll never again say war has not its, redeeniing features. We have not seen a book agent in a week. ' There is, however, some satisfaction in knowing that when our shoes wear out well be on our feet again. If the kaiser wants to jump from the frying pan into the fire, he I might try the job of emperoring in [ Russia. A sure way to revive interest in the Congressional Record would be to cease passing. resolutions to “expurgate.” • Worry may be. as a great man said, worse than drink, but it doesn’t leave the same taste in the mouth next morning. Before you start to abusing the

'heigbborhood hadn't you better take a little inventory and see what kind of a neighbor you are? “Prohibition that prohibits’’ is aptly defined as a place where a ca!l for sarsaparilla, accompanied by a wink, brings—sarsaparilla. We have no objections to the President appointing Mr. Taft a major general, but we do think, he should have considered the shortage Of khaki. The Good Book tells us that Satan is to be loosed for a thousand years. But what we’d like to know, however, is how long the old duck has been looser-

It is stated that 100 pounds of beef shrink to sixty-seven pounds after ordinary roasting. This, perhaps, accounts for the smallness of the roast, and we apologize to the butcher. • A news item says a Pittsburgh man lays claim to the city court house site and advertises it for sale. But he’s not the first fellow who thought he had a monopoly of justice. ’ ' If Mr. Hoover succeeds in straightening out the food situation he will have done a great work. If he fails- —well, he can console himself with the knowledge that there always has to be a goat. Government reports forecast the largest corn crop in the history of the country, but it hasn’t budged the price. Now what’s become of the knowing ones who used to talk so glibly of “supply and demand.’’ Chicago school children are tearing out a page in their spellers on which the kaiser is "lauded. And this, perhaps, is the first time in their little lives’’that they were not thrashed for obeying a perfectly natural impulse. Now that they find the stigma of cowardice firmly attached to them, war grooms are explaining that thej- merely obeyed the call “to arms.” They further assert that as no particular “arms” were specified, it was their privilege to piake the choice.