Jasper County Democrat, Volume 20, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 August 1917 — EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS [ARTICLE]

EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS

We are coming, Kaiser William, 20,000,000 strong. The Irish national convention has just been in session. Please, Mr. Censor, take off the lid! —*— A local nut suggests that Mr. Hoover compile a book of food jokes for the simple minded. Considering his sightless condition, the blind tiger has remarkable success in eluding the hunters. One of the best grades of Italian cheese is seasoned four years before being eaten. We thought so! If Kaiser Bill doesn’t “get a wiggle on” that breakfast he had prepared in Paris will be getting cold. It remained for the American army mules in France to give Pershing’s negro troops their most rousing reception. No, we havenit heard of any of those Russian soldier girls complaining of the attentions of the street corner Johnnies. “Well,” says the cheerful idiot, “this coal Shortage will have at least one good effect. It will help to abate the smoke nuisance. One of the most humane features of the universal service measure will be in the relief given to some of our dependent husbands. One by one our treasured axioms are exploded. When you are tempted to remark that “talk is cheap” just remember that the telephones of the country return a monthly income of nearly $1 each. Two thousand letters, each one offering a solution of the submarine problem, were received by the navy department in one week. If these “wise heads” would only screw up their patriotism to the point of enlisting in the navy we might see some appreciable results. But they won’t! -