Jasper County Democrat, Volume 20, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 June 1917 — PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON

I’d like to be as slim and straight as when I was a middleweight. I wouldn't run so much to waist if sternly I refused to taste the kinds of grub _ containing starch, and’ if _pn foot "I’d daily march, instead of riding down the street, while thinner people use their feet. It’s easy to reduce one’s fat —-the doctors all agree on that, the doctors of a dozen schools; but when I’ve read their list of rules,

I heave a sad and soulful sigh, and call for porterhouse and pie. Vain longings 1 have often felt, to wear a smaller, shorter belt, of double chins I would dispose, and once again behold my toes. I know I ought to live on rice, and divers yarbs off rhe ice; I ought to walk ten miles a day, and with the hefty .dumbbells play, ajMPin a year, the doctors state, I vtotud have lost a ton of weight. once may pay too great a price for looking willowy and nice; the cost of beauty comes too high, when one must shun the gaudy pie. forsake the gravy and the roast, and live on tea and brick-hard toast. No prudent man of ample girth will for a figure trade the earth.