Jasper County Democrat, Volume 19, Number 103, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 March 1917 — PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON

I strike a match upon my boot, and light my three-for-five then throw the match away. “The fire fiend snorted through the town, and burned our finest buildings down,” the morning papers say. I suck an orange as J talk, and drop the peel upon the walk, then journey to my flat; a friend steps on that peel of mine, and breaks agallus and a spine, an ankle and a slat. I scrubbed the cellar stairs with pep, and went to groom the cow; my aunt went down to get some jell; she stumbled o’er that pail and fell, and spoiled her queenly brow. I’m always doing thoughtless tricks, which bring dire grief to other hicks, and fill them with alarm; and when I've made some dizzy break, I say, u ’Twas merely a mistake—l surely infant no harm.” But being sorry doesn’t cure the griefs my victims must endure, and now and then they rise, brush my apologies aside, and make some punctures in my hide, and black my starry. eyes.