Jasper County Democrat, Volume 19, Number 101, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 March 1917 — Short Furrows [ARTICLE]

Short Furrows

"Abe Martin” in Indianapolis News.

Ther haint nothin’ that’ll produce a warped Wiew o’ life like th’ absence o’ money—t’ be alone in th’ midst o’ life an’ plenty without even th’ price of a little dash o’ hominy. Even if you’re Well dressed an’ th’ band is playing, th’ consciousness o’ bein’ broke takes ail th’ pep an’ ginger put o’ you. An’ if you happen t’ be on your last collar an’ ther’s a blowout on th’ side o’ your right shoe, th’ Grand Canyon looks like a bloomin’ paradise compared t’ th’ world. Bein’ broke hobbles your gait, knocks th’ jacks from under your shoulders, an’ produces a concave stomach. penniless encourages temerity, an’ if you’re used t’ whistlin’, it destroys your pucker. Sunshine, th’ fragrance o’ flowers, th’ song o’ birds, th’ Niagary Falls, an’ ever’thirtg else in this life that’s beautiful, wonderful an’ worth while, have no appeal fer th’ feller that’s on his uppers. The’ moral influence o’ money, th’ consciousness o’ knowin’ you’ve got two or three dollars ahead, produces confidence an’ initiative. Some folks kin 4>e broke without showin’ it, but unless ther condition is relieved ere it is too late, th’ symptoms appear on th’ exterior an’ are easily recognized. Then some folks kin be well fixed an’ look broke, ’cept that th* expression o’ utter hopelessness so noticeable in th really broke is absent. You can’t look broke out o’ th’ eyes unless you are broke, fer nothin’ short o’ being absolutely an’ truly broke kin produce th’ expression. It’s in a class by itself an’ can’t be counterfeited. You kin git round shouldered an’ sallow’ an’ wear a faded derby by bein’ a tightwad, but you can’t look broke without bein’ broke. £

Th’ next worst thing t’ bein broke is—eomin’ out even ever’ week and beginpin’ all over agin Monday. That’s jest like climbin’ out of a cistern ever’ Saturday night an’ failin’ in agin Monday. Ever’ feller, whether single, married, children or no children, should lay away at least 75 cents or a dollar each week. Some fellers say: “What’s th’ use; we only live once, so come on an' let’s go t’ th’ nickel the-ater,” or “B’lieve I’ll order some p’taters anyhow fer I’ve got lots o’ years ahead o’ me in which t save.” How any one kin enjoy a film or a p’tater knowin’ his last penny has gone int’ th’ transaction is beyond me. O' coal an p’taters (or th’ equivalent; ah’ that don’t mean carrots), are necessary if th’ /husband is t’ conserve his strengtmn an’ plod, but th’ film is entirely unnecessary t’ his wellbein’ an should be indulged in only when his earnin’ ability has reached th’ point where he kin go t’ th’ grocery himself instead o’ sending his little/girl. Any man o’ narrow means kin git all th’ diversion he needs by keepin’ his eyes open on th’ streets these days. Money is stimulatin’. Ther is no concoction in th’ world that’ll brighten a feller up like findin’ a quarter in an ole vest. So begin t’day t’ lay a litHe somethin’ aside out o’ whatever you earn, an’ don’t allow yourself t’ go completely broke an’ drop out o’ th’ game an’ sulk around like a whipped rooster. Money may not bring happiness, but -it certainly sets th’ stage an’ gits ever’thing ready.