Jasper County Democrat, Volume 19, Number 92, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 February 1917 — PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON

Old Uncle Sam is tiring of “Cost' of Living’’ fuss, and now he is inquiring just why such things are thus. When government committees go snooping round for facts, in all our towns and cities, and i populated tracts, we feel there’s ■ something doing; we shake off our | despair; now Justice is pursuing the pirates to their lair. But we’ll,, be dead and sleeping, . our ’ weary ' frames at—rest,' before the land is ■ reaping much good from Uncle’s, quest. It is a thousand pities, wet blankets to produce, but govern-1 ment committees! Oh, thunder, what’s the use? Perhaps in nine-j teen-thirty committees will report that speculators dirty should all be haled to court, for boosting eggs and taters, excelsior and bread; but all the speculators will then be; lying dead. The little chortling suckling will be all bent with years, and down to labor buckling, when that report appears. The happy schoolboy friskers, enjoying sunny lives, will have long, snowy whiskers, when that report arrives. And prices will be normal, this crisis all 'forgot, when, - all correct and formal, that’ blamed report is brought. And I who write this ditty will sleep beneath the yam, before the first committee reports to Uncle Sam. Tlie Chicago Tribune states that its last Sunday’s issue required eighty-four acres of growing timber to produce. The issue could well have been reduced one-half, and forty-acres of timber saved for better purposes. The nonsense printed in that issue is a sheer waste of good material. If these * metropolitan Sunday issues could

be cut down to the size needed and pictures of nude women with a fur I wrap around her neck cut out, (there would be more paper to be had for publications that really do good. The pugs and the actresses and the sports might object, but the rest of the world would be greatly relieved.—Chesterton Tribune.