Jasper County Democrat, Volume 19, Number 71, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 December 1916 — PHILOSOPHY OF WAIT MASON [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHY OF WAIT MASON

Doc Whiskers say, “I am not joking when saying you must cut Out smoking, or cross to t’other shore.” I listen to the admonition of that renowned and learned physician, and then I smoke some more. The docs are fond of threats and bluffing: they like to scare you while they're stuffing their pills into your craw; they like to raise a little riot about your exercise arid diet, while brandishing the saw. Long years ago the doctors told me that graveyard vestments would enfold me unless I ceased to. smoke; I heard their rede, then, late and early, I kept on smoking good old hurley, and quite forgot to croak. At least a dozen famous surgeons, apothecaries and chirurgeons, have told me Of nty plight: “Unless you can your old rank briar, the nicotine will knock you higher than Gilroy’s famous kite.” And still nty briar is a fixture; I still consume the Four Flush mixture, and buy it by the poiwd, the while the docs stand round and threaten, reproaching me that * I’m forgettin’ I’ll soon be underground;