Jasper County Democrat, Volume 19, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 July 1916 — The First Newspaper. [ARTICLE]

The First Newspaper.

hen Adam’s Eve began to do the housekeeping for Adam, she had no cares such as pursue the modern Adam s madam. She did not know was the rage, because there was no woman’s page. She did not get a daily hint front Paris full of passion to start her on a daily sprint to keep up with the fashion. She did not haunt the beauty stores in order to keep open pores. When Adam capered home at night (he was no wearied plodder!) he did not shiver lest he might be served with curious fodder. There were no papers, so you see there waj no household recipe. Old Adam was a happy bloke and lived a life most cheery. He did net know that he would choke some day with his bacteria. Adam and Eve had never read health articles to scare them dead. Eve never went through Adam’s breeks when he was sweetly dreaming, because there were no bargain weeks to tempt her to such schem ing. The serpent thought she was a goose. She was too good for any use. The serpent was a clever brute. Though he’d not been through college, his sanctum made him mightv cute, it was the Tree of Knowledge. “Aha!” he said, “I’ll publish, free. The Daily Eden Apple Tree!” The first edition raised a row whose scandal shocked creation. Since that first issue Adam’s brow is wet with perspiration. It told the scandal, rich and rare, that Eve had not a thing to wear!—Mergenthaler Lines O’ Type News.