Jasper County Democrat, Volume 18, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 May 1915 — GANDERBONE’S FORECAST. [ARTICLE]

GANDERBONE’S FORECAST.

MAY. ' I- ■ A soldier of the Allies A as lighting in his trencn ; < Around him were the British,' Beside him were the French. He thought ipf Piccadilly, . - ' He thought oi Leicester Square, And lie ducked to let a cannonball Co w..izzizng through his hair. 11. The .soldier of the Allies Had .notions- of his own ; He didn’t give a whoop outdoors For anybody's throne; He’d battled since October In pleasant times and rough, And it struck him in a. quiet way He’d .shot around enough : 111. A soldier hard beside him : Sat down a bit to rest; They otten talked of this and that, Except when matters pressed. “I wonder how much longer,” The other soldier said. And watched a German aeroplane That circled overhead. IV. The soldier of the Allies Looked very, very wise; A quizzical expression swept The corners of his eyes. Aou tell me u hy. we re fighting, ’’ He said unto his friend. And I 11 be glad to tell you when The blooming tiling will end."

May gets its mime from the Latin majores (the elderp) cxa-t’v as. June gets its name from juniores (the younger i . The. Homan 'people were divided into these tw<? ■’.e-djications -by Romulus, it being the duty of the elders to maintain tire republic in youncil and that of the young men to maintain it with arms. Thus- came the custom of the old pien declaring war and the young men going out and getting killed in it. A great many of the Romans felt at the time that the men who were going to be killed ought to have the privilege of saying whether there would be war or not, and it was finally decided to have a battle in which it would be determined who were beter able to do the empire’s fighting. This battle, which was fought upon the Campus Martius, was one of the greatest hoaxes ever foisted upon guileless youth. The old men made only a -show of fighting, and when the battle began to warm up they blithely beat it for Rome. The young men were too jubilant over their victory to realize that they were the victims of a plot, nor did they ever quite realize it until Rome went to war and they got to thinking it over in foreign prisons. Caesar considered that a great wrong had been done the young men, and he did his utmost to right it. He also made the point that Rome suffered doubly by

sending the young men to the front, first because the old men were much craftier fighters, and second because the empire could much easier spare them. This occasioned a tremendous debate in the Forum, and great feeling arose. Brutus, Casca and others of th© elders, seeing that the debate was going against them and that the custom probably would be altered, laid for Caesar when he came out to his lunch and assassinated him. Thus fell Caesar, and thus fell with him (very young man who has since died at the front. 1 he festive calf, will sniff the breeze And turn a somersault for spring, And birds in forty-seven keys Will -try to make the welkin ring. The hopeful anglerwill resume Where last the fish were known to bite, , . • lhe smell of painting will perfume The dreamy areas jof night, Fhe boy before the soda fount ’ > ' l ill mjx a dozen drinks, at once, The happy farmer will recount His newest scientific stunts. ' The slicker's merry rat-a-tat Will fill the mom another year. And Maude will wear a cheesebox hat Hung raking over one pink ear.

One ca n’t rest rain the joy of spring because the kings have fallen out. Tile' cheery meadowlark will sing; and all the buds will blossom out. A host, of healthful garden truck will storm the human Dardanelles., The sitting hen will softly cluck and warm the chickens in the shells. The mockingbird will fill the night with fervid pledges of its love, a brighter beauty will bedight the irrideseence of the dove, the citrus will resume its sway, with posters going on before, the gentle blandishments of May will beckon through the schoolroom .door. the wind will blow in playful! spurts, the bullfrog in the glade will grunt, and Susie will sew lighter shirts for summer service at the front. A fig for. who is winning now on Europe’s battlefields and red, the hired man behind the plow will see that all of them are fen. Or bloody work along the ADr.*. or naval battles at The Horn, he’ll tool tite -un delating plain and stuff the combatants with corn, Ife little wots about the right, or little cares which side is wrong; he only hopes to give his mite to keeping people well and strong. There is no medal on his chest, nor has he Carnegie to thank for something feathering his nest and lying in the village bank. He toils for love, for all men’s good, for what to him is doubly dear, and when he has done what he could, he sleeps the balance of the year. At any rate, the whippoorwill Will bare the secrets of his heart, And Cupid, lying very .still, M ill shoot us with his fiery dart. The bride will thrill for thought of r- June, When dad’s well wishes will be cash, The tender glamour of the moon Will make the bachelors all rash, The widow will begin to set H'er deadfall for another mate, The tourist will begin to fret And nibble ar the summer rate, The icecream suit will tempt the rain, The garden peas will race the beans, And we shall be ourselves again For 5 having sassafras and greens.

The I'nited Stateswill be so busy getting in crops with which to feed Europe next winter that not much else will happen here in May. The president will continue, however; to keep the country as neutral as may be, considering that almost all of its Sprung from one of the countries engaged in the war. He will not do much at golf or at living around in pleasant country places this summer, but will stick to the white house

pretty closely, This is not an easy' time to be president. In former times ■ one could put in a good deal of one's time bear hunting, as Mr. Roosevelt' did, or sunning one’s self on the grass somewhere along Long island' Sound, as Mr. Taft did. It is nothing like that now. The president must; stick to his knitting, and if there is' any bear hunting and sun-dozing to be done, the vice-president will have' to do it. ■[. The war in Mexico will continue northward through the month in search of cooler weather, and will probably summer on the south bank of the Rio Grande. The war is a little worn and fatigtred after an un-’ usually warm season in Mexico, arid ■ a few months at the proper resort; will put it on its feet. Gen. Huerta,* who may be said to rave been one' of its godfathers, is in this country’ again, and will probably pay the war a visit some time (luring the month. ' He has consulted some excellent; specialists .Abroad on the peculiar nature of the war’s ailment, and something may come or it. What does come of it may not be to the' general's liking, but when one hathe war at heart, as Huerta has, one; feels like doing something, at any' rgte. ; ;l The first twenty days of May will! be under the influence of Taurus the Bull, the second sign of the zodiac. If this doesn't restrain the-Japs, it will be because they mistake Taurus for one of their own little rice-fed bulls. The last ten days of the month Will be under the influence of Ge'i: ui the Twins, the third sign of the zodiac. The president has waited patiently for the influence of this sign on the Mexicans, and if he isn’t mistaken they will finally reward our w'a'tchful waiting. The moon will be full on the 28th. Then June will come, a time apart, With Cupid for her crony. An,H none oi us will Ivive the heart To mention alimony.