Jasper County Democrat, Volume 17, Number 79, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 January 1915 — puke McLuke's Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

puke McLuke's Philosophy.

[Cincinnati Tnquirer.] When mother has the goods on father and accuses him of some orneryness. father gets ten times as indignant as he would if the accusations were not based on fact. You can’t make a princess believe it. But the fellow who can run fifteen balls at pool often has a hard time making sls per week. Give a man a Morris chair filled ■with sofa pillows in a theater and he will remain wide awake. Give him a hard wood seat in an uncomfortable straight-backed pew in church and he will proceed to go to sleep. The patriot isn’t the fellow who is always waving the old flag. He is the fellow who minds his own business and helps make this a better country. Father is always bragging about his good judgment. But you may have noticed when a room is going to be papered mother always selects the wall paper. Every mah wants to run the home newspaper and the home ball tean> But.if you tried to run his business he would want to fight. Telling your wife that she looks better in her bungalow apron than the woman next door does in her new street dress doesn’t keep friend wife from wanting a .new Gress, but it salves her a whole lot and helps some. A man's hat has to fit his head. A woman’s hat has to fit her face. What has become of the old' fashioned girl who used to get her fellow to save his cigar ashes for her so she could use them to clean her teeth? Mother has two or three fits when she discovers that-the water pipes are frozen." But father can’t see anything to worry about as long as there are a few cold bottles in the ice box. After going over the “funny” supplements of the pewspvpers you get' the idea that most of the cartoonists I studied so hard learning to draw they ne Slected to learn how to | Spelt As lohg as a dog knoWs how to bark and wag his tail a boy doesn’t care a hang if it hasn’t any pedigree. Every man knows a lot of other men who haven’t as much sense «s he has and who are making more money than he does. Things are not always what they seem. Many a complexion that looks like peaches and cream tastes like kalsomine. Most of the hard luck results from an effort to dodge hard work. You have noticed that the female snake charmers are all so homely that they wouldn’t have a chance if they tried to charm anything else. Any time a man tells you that he will think it over he means that he won’t give it another thought. The man W’ho carries shooting gallery cigars to give his friends is always surprised to learn that you have quit smoking when he meets you the second time. This is a speedy age. Some brides begin saving up money to pay a lawyer for a divorce before they get all the rice out of their hair.