Jasper County Democrat, Volume 17, Number 77, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 January 1915 — Luke McLuke’s Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Luke McLuke’s Philosophy.

[Cincinnati Enquirer] Eve was about the only woman that ever moved into »new quarters and didn’t kick about the dirt left by the women who moved out. It is funny, but it ds a fact that most of the men who use perfect grammer are earning S2O per week, and most of the men who say “them things’’ and other bush league expressions own their own homes and have a substantial bank account, I The old-fashioned woman,, w.ho used to -use a whole paper of safety' pins when she was dressing now has a daughter who wouldn’t know how to use one if she 'had it. , You may not believe IL But the girl who has a beam like a battle ship doesnl eat half as much as the girl who is built like a hatpin. Any undertaker will tell you that he would starve if he had to depend on the men who are always yelping that they are working themselves to death. Anyway, Adam didn’t have to sit around at night and listen to Eve nagging that she wished she had some decent clothes to wear like other women. About the only men who are living within their incomes are the fellows who arq locked in by the guards every night. Any homely girl can tell you that the prettiest apple isn’t always the sweetest. ■ \ Daughter will carry her car fare in her mouth. But after she gets downtown she wouldn’t think of using a drinking cup in a public place. Faith will remove mountains, but it never seems to help a fat woman so you could notice it. A man likes to brag that he once had to work with a pick and shovel. But a woman will never admit that she ever had to take in washing. If George Washington never told a lie, Martha must have spent nearly all of her married life throwing things at George. Colds always attack the weakest spot. And some men are busy with a handkerchief all the time. If there are no children in the family, people roast the wife. And if there are a dozen children in the family, people rbast the husband. There are as good fish’ in the matrimonial sea as the one you have caught, but don’t let your wife know that you are going fishing.