Jasper County Democrat, Volume 17, Number 75, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 December 1914 — Poor Betty, How Funny Her Effusions Were. [ARTICLE]

Poor Betty, How Funny Her Effusions Were.

Democratic editors of Indiana will certainly appreciate and enjoy the following satirical comment from the Tippecanoe County Democrat on the punk sent out by the democratic press bureau during the recent campaign. Bro. Isherwood’s estimate of the value of this stuff is shared by

at least 99 per cent of the democratic editors of Indiana, . who, as a rule, didn’t even take the trouble to blue pencil it, but after glancing over the slush, fired it into the waste basket. Here is what Editor Isherwood says of tihis punk;

The post man comes regularly but he no longer brings the large fat envelopes on which there were generally 2 or 4 or 6 cents postage due, and which bore on its face in large red rubber stamp type “Rush, Important News.” These envelopes usualy contained the effusions of one Betty Blythe and came from the democratic state central committee. They were glaring, glittering, gushing.

Had the democratic papers of the state published them verbatim there is no reason why the republicans shouldn’t have carried the state by 100,000, or even a million. But the democratic editors of the state bought blue pencils by the gross, and what they did to Betty Blythe’s effusions rhade them look like the progressive party looked on November 4th.

One of Betty’s earliest literary gems told the gasping, wondering world, what a handsome man Homer Cook was. He was a perfect darling, a modern Adonis, and if “us girls” should only vote —.’ Please pass the pink tea and orange marmalade. Then came one extra fat parcel (6 cents postage due) which we opened with wild expectancy. Betty had taken Bernard Korbly, her boss and paymaster, as a text. “What did Chairman Korbly want?” That was the Jeep, dark mystery which » baffled even the astute and blithesome Betty. About seven columns of space was consumed in telling a -wondering and excited populace that Mr. State Chairman Korbly w r as deserving of anything the President could give him, but the President didn’t have a big enough job at his command to fit the immense political proportions of the state chairman. Gush and slush, Marked “Rush.’

If Betty knew—and we have no idea that the poor, sweet, deluded little soul did know—that Mr. State Chairman Korbly had bartered his high position of state chairman for a mess of lobby pottage, she knew what he should get and probably what he will get. The democrats will probably bust that $6,000 legislative lobby ring at whose head is Mr. Korbly—and that is what they should do. Mr. Korbly will undoubtedly get to put the “ex-” as a prefix to his official title. Then on Sept. 29th came the capsheaf, the crowning glory, the greatest literary production the world has ever known. It was not flashed like lightning from a clear sky; the trail was blazed; we were prepared by a letter, part of which said: “I am now' preparing you a little story that I wrote especially for two or three gapers of your district.’ Stop and think of that!

We were especially favored# Do you get it? We had the edge on the other fellows. This work of art was constructed for us and by Betty’s own dear little hands. Proceeding in her letter which paved the way. Betty said: “I would be glad if you could find space for the character es-

timate of Chairman Murphy; even if you cannot use the entire story. We think it important that the people of the state understand something about the personality of the men wiho are leaders of the party.” We judge by the election returns from the Seventh and Tenth districts that the people of the state did understand some things about the leaders. And probably to the fact that we did not publish this remarkable character study is due the excellent results for the democracy in Tippecanoe county. The ‘‘character study” ended thus: “There is one quality that he (Murphy) possesses that there is no discounting and that is— Courage. If I wanted something difficult worked out; a job that seemed a little too big for one man to handle—why I’d put it up to him. I never knew such a prodigious appetite for work—he fairly gobbles it alive. To be sure he can’t do a single thing until he gets a poor, abused hat rakingly cocked over one ear and a horribly strong cigar about as big as a barrel clinched between his teeth. Keeping his cigar lighted is a kind of a pace maker for his energies. Surely his matchbox gets plenty of exercise—l’ve wondered if he runs a little private cigar factory some place or other. , BETTY BLYTHE.” Wasn’t this a telling, effective, irresistible argument for voting the democratic ticket?

While the postman no longer brings the Betty Blythe bunk, the democratic papers go right on using their columns for the benefit of their party, hoping to elect men who will make records that will enable other democrats to be elected. They extol and defy, explain and defend, while Betty takes employment in some other sugar taffy factory. The democratic editors of the state are organized and are soon to have a meetin. One of the things ..they ought to discuss is the next press , bureau of the democratic state committee. They should have the running of it. These editors demand that their advertising columns be kept clean — they should also see to it that their editorial columns are kept high minded and truthful.