Jasper County Democrat, Volume 17, Number 59, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 October 1914 — GAN DEB BONE'S FORECAST. [ARTICLE]

GAN DEB BONE'S FORECAST.

November. November was put in the calendar by Numa Pompilius, who would have been, had he lived in our time, much such a character as Dr. Irl Hicks. He was always interested in the weather, and endeavored even so long ago as before the Christian era to reduce this fascinating science to some sort of order. He was the first person in history to appreciate the relation of the weather to humankind. Before Numa it was customary io suppose that the weather defied analysis. The periodicity of the seasons had not been particularly observed, and it was not definitelyestablished when they began. He divided the year into four equal seasons, provided the necessary solstices and equinoxes, and very soon familiarized all the , Romans with what they might reasonably expect. Thus, when Caesar invaded Gaul he was really enabled to divide that country into the historic three parts because his army was prepared for all kinds of weather. The enemyhad more troops than Caesar had, but the Romans had more weights of clothing. People laughed at the Romans for laying stress upon this in early time, but Rome conquered the world. We have seen 'some intimation in the present great war that Russia expects to win this winter by reason of the superiority- of her bearskin coats. That does to laugh about now, when the weather is soft; but Caesar said very much the same thing, and he made it good. You will perhaps recall that celebrated ijne in the, commentaries of Caesar, - The bravest of these were the Balgii, for they fought all winter in their summer clothes.” War was the business of Rome, and Numa therefore determined when her armies could operate to the greatest advantage. He called this season November, from the Latin nine, meaning that an army could do about nine times as much damage as it could at any other season of

the year, in November the crops were ripe and the cattle were fat. An army could live. In November it was neither too hot to inarch nor too cold to camp. Everybody rose with the crisp breath of the frost in their nostrils, and a man felt like jerking a bull off a bridge. There wag almost no mud in which to mire, and the army was not often bothered by rain. It was the soldier’s time of year, and in that blest season Rome cracked about everybody’s head in the known world. Our forebears in this country called the season Indian summer because it was then that the Indians went on the war path. It was a primitive instinct. Scalps were a minor consideration with the Indians. What they wanted were pumpkins, turnips, cider, chitlins, souse, cracklings and homesmoked hams. The whites defended those stores with such vigor that the Indians finally starved to the point of having to be supported on reservations. That is the history of Indian summer. Don’t let anybody tell you it is so named because the leaves are red. The pioneer cared nothing about the leaves being red.

The festive calf will sniff the breeze And show us all the new fox trot, And Europe’s soldiers will freeze Without requiring to be shot. The men will proudly strut about With feathers in their new fall hats, The husky candidate will shout His hollow warning to the fats, The chilly doodlebugs will all Interne themselves before the blast. And one by one the leaves shall fall, As per the custom in the past.

Afar from Europe’s bloody strife, the gentle blandishments of fall will gladden everybody’s life and deftly captivate us all. The farmer selling wheat and corn to nations busy with ihe sword will blithely blow his auto horn and make additions to his hoard. If some keep peace while others fight, then some must buy what others sell, and sellers, too, reserve the right to charge the buyers pretty well The wax tax may work here and there a little hardship on a few, but think of finding anywhere a farmer feeling very blue! He doesn't run a bucket shop, nor is he busy selling bonds: no matter where the market drops, few farmers throw

themselves in ponds. What Europe needs the more and more is bread' and meat, the truth to tell, and on this rich and peaceful shore, we have those articles to sell.

The longer Armageddon lasts, the mope alluring is our chance, especially since winter’s blasts are almost ready to advance. The only ammunition known to serve against that common foe is such as all of us have grown and learned to cradle and to hoe. In war nobody raises wheat, or

i i ey a passing thought to hogs; the wreck of farming is complete, and everything goes to the dogs. The hired man goes off to fight and joim his colors in the ranks, the forager coin's down at night Jfud loots the plate with little ( thanks. .the gunners shoot the windmill up, the trim haystacks are set afire, the infantry takes down the fence and makes obstructions of the wire, the house and barns are tilled with men. the smokehouse is a captain’s cot. and when the camp is moved again the farmer’s opulence is not. At any rate, we shall give thanks For being neutral over here. Though doing so shall thin the ranks Of guileless turkeydom, we fear. Alas: tor custom and for strife. Whenever we address the sky To show our gratitude for life, The luckless turkey has to die.

Congress having adjourned,the fear of any further reform for the time being will induce everybody to come out of hiding, and times will be a little livier than they have been. We shall meanwhile sell Europe everything we can. She can have anything over here except our theory ot government. We must hang on to that. The first 22 days of November will be under the influence of Scorpio, the eighth sign of the zodiac. People born under this sign are great thinkers and believe the English should make an exception of Mr. Rockefeller’s oil boats. Europe is much too busy fighting in the daytime to pay any attention to what we are saying about the war, and without some of John’s oil, it is not easy to see how she is going to read it at night. The British are away off on that, as the Scorpio people, who are great debaters, hope to make them admit. The last eight days of the month will be under the influence of Sagittarius the Archer Sagittarians are the greatestt neutrals we have. They can discuss the war continually without once betraying where their sympathies lie. They are the principal support of the Wilson idea, and if we keep out of the war to the end we shall owe it to the tact and diplomacy of these remarkable people. Thanksgiving will be observed on the twenty-sixth.

Then bleak December shall return To chill the very soul, And we shall all begin to burn That pile of winter coal.