Jasper County Democrat, Volume 17, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 August 1914 — Short Furrows [ARTICLE]

Short Furrows

Abe Martin in Indianapolis News.

I've often wondered while lookin' thro' th’ illustrated publications o’ Europe an studyin’ th’ pictures o’ crowned heads with ther bristlin' whiskers an shinin’ helmets, army maneuvers, war balloons, armored fleets, deadly machine guns an’ other death dealin’ devices, if th’ ole.-world wuzn' double crossin’ Andy Carnegie an’ Secretary Bryan in ther pretended anxiety fer universal peace. Fer th’ past few months American diplomacy has been th’ laughin’ stock o’ Europe. T’day th’ United States, with her bulgin’ granaries an’

endless flow' o' grape juice, is preparin’ t - feed th’ world, while th’ industries o’ Europe are at a standstill an’ her sons are engaged in a bloody war about nothin’. In any country where ther’s a constant an’ unceasin’ preparation ler war goin’ on all th’ time ther’s bound t' be trouble. Ther kin be no feelin’ o' peace an’ security in a country whose ruler wears a helmet. It took jest exactly one week o’ European diplomacy t’ plunge nine countries int’ an unnecessarj* war. One after another th’ helmets were tossed iDt’ th’ ring. Ther wuz no watchful waitin'. Th' youth o’ twothirds o’ Europe wuz fairly shoved iut’ a crimson conflict wherein nothin’ wuz involved that couldn’ have been adjusted in a squire’s court. But it seems like monarchs kin go jest so long without lettin’ off steam. They must git some good out o’ ther helmets. It don’t make no diference who precipitated th’ present European war. Whether it wuz hatched m Berlin or St. Petersburg or Vienna or Paris, it is clear that all th’ powers wuz ready fer it at th’ drop of a helmet. T'day hundreds o' thousands o’ soldiers are bein’ mowed down by th' •modern implements o' war while death an’ sorrow stalk in a million homes—all t’ satisfy a handful o' uniformed monarchs with fierce whiskers. Uneasy lies th’ head that wears a crown ' indeed! Uneasy lies th’ head whose ruler wears a helmet is more like it. It's jest as foolish fer a big prosperous country t' go t’ war as it is fer a feller with a perfectly good farm t’ go t’ court. While th’ news o' th’ war may be vague an conflictin’ on account o’ th’ strict censorship we know that ever’ country involved is all set fer a fierce conflict, that ever’ death-deal-in' device known t' man has been oiled up an' that th* battle is on. Th’ dullest imagination should have easy sailin’ in picturin' th’ rest. It's better t’ be neutral an' lit tip on grape juice than it is t’ wear a helmet. ' ■