Jasper County Democrat, Volume 16, Number 101, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 March 1914 — THE BOWSER KITE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

THE BOWSER KITE

Our Hero’s Experiment In the Cause of Science. IT RESULTS DISASTROUSLY. A Search For Humidity Only Serves to Afford the S mall Boys of the Neighborhood Amusement, but Leaves the Bowsers Without a Cook.

By M. QUAD.

(Copyright. 1914, by Associated Literary Press. J FOR the first time in a year Mr., Bowser came h .uie froui the office at’ fioou. Mrs. ’ Bowser had only to glance at Liiin and the bundle under his arm to realize that he had a scheme on hand. : •’Well, what is it?” she queried. “I’m going to make a bit of an experiment.” explained Mr. Bowser. ”1 thought it Was time, for you to break out again. You won't be satisfied until you have blown up the bouse and all of us With it. Is it dynamite this time?” "Aly dear woman.” slowly answered Mr. Bowser, "isn’t it better for a man to be at borne storing up scientific knowledge in his mind than loafing around pool rooms and saloons?” “But what scientific knowledge are you seeking?" she asked. "As to discoveries, you've made about a hundred in the last two years, and almost every one of them has blown the windows out or knocked the back fence down.” "My dear woman,” he softly continued. "here are a few harmless sticks and sheets of paper. I propose to take them up into the garret and make a winter kite. Did- you ever hear of a kite blowing up anybody?" "But what do you want with a kite? Do you propose to run up and down the streets with a gang of boys at yot'ir heels?” No Subject For Levity. "Woman, remember to whom you are talking. 1 propose to make some experiments in the interests of science. You have heard of humidity. 1 suppose? The humidity you have felt has all been in the lower strata of atmosphere, on what you may call the ground floor. When the humidity ou the ground floor is 80 per cent what is it at a height of fifty or a hundred feet?” "How can I tell, and why should I care?” ’ “Ah, that is it. you e. But for research and experiment the world wouldn’t know that it is any colder

at the north pole than at Key West. You should care in, the interests of science. If there's So per cent of humidity on the ground tioor and only 40 per cent at a height of TOO feet the world of science should be informed of the fact.” “But what good would it do if we knew it?” persisted Mrs. Bowser. ••Woman. 1 pity you!" said Mr. Bowser. "If all people were as indifferent we should never have kuown about the revolutions of the earth. 1 did hope for home enthusiasm and encouragement. 1 shall go ahead, however. The cook will make me some paste, and 1 will build a kitej” "And what's the kite for?" "To send up into the atmosphere, of course. Attached to it will be this instrument for recording the liDmidity.also a thermometer for recording the temperature. However, as. you take no interest in these things it is useless to waste further time explaining. Iletain your ignorance. Mrs. Bowser retain and hug your ignorance to your soul while 1 go ahead and make a discovery for the benefit of the world.” She had nothing more to say. and he got his paste and made his way to the garret. Nothing, more was seen of him till dinner time.' and then lie brought down a finished kite. “So you have, put off your experiments till tomorrow?’’ queried Mrs. Bowser. “Not at all." be replied. “I forgot to tell you that my first experiment is to be made after dark. What I want to get at is the humidity and temperature of the evening. There is going to be a good breeze tonight, and 1 shall count on favorable results.” Interested Spectators. Mr. Bowser waited until darkness fell, and then took his kite info the hack yard. He thought he bad deceived everybody, but not five minutes had gone before half a dozen boys had passed the word and were getting

ready to enjoy the fun with him. There was a good breeze, and it was no trick at all for him to get that kite up forty feet. He held it there for five minutes and then' hauled it down and excitedly announced to Mrs. Bowser, who was standing at the back door: '■l've struck it right off! What do you suppose the humidity up there is?” "I can't guess.” ‘’lt's 480 per cent- It's recorded right here, and there can be no mistake!” "It can't be. There wouldn't be half of that humidity in the densest fog.” “But here it is— 4“ per cent!” he persisted. "And ypu can't get around it. Mrs. Bowser. I have made a discovery which will set the whole world talking. While l am sure there can be no mistake. I'll send the kite up again to verify ray figures. So keep it clear of those telephone wires and I'll climb on the roof of the shed." .With laborious effort he clambered up. and the kite was passed - up to him. It had just got a start when the boys .hidden along the back fence began business, cucumbers, tomatoes, stones and lumps of coal were about evenly divided between Mr. Bowser and the kite. Botli fell at the same time, but Mr. Bowser fell the hardest. Something hit him on the nose as he was paying out string, and he sat down pn the roof. Then something else hit him in the ear, and in the excitement he rolled off. struck on the clothesline and was bounced into a snow bank dotted with the cook’s old cans and hotties and such. The cook lieified pull him out. They were bonding over hiin us consciousness returned. and he s.at up. "Well, wliat about the humidity?” asked ~Mrs. Bowser.

Mr. Bowser Sees It All. He rose with a painful effort. The kite lay there on the ground, and the heads of seven boys could be seen above the back fence. Without a look around, however, Mr. Bowser entered the house, Mrs. Bowser following. When they had entered the sitting room Mr. Bowser turned on her and hoarsely whispered: "Woman. 1 see—l understand.” "You understand the humidity was 4SO per cent?’’ she replied. lie extended his right arm and waved it. Then he followed suit with the left. Then lie kicked out both legs and rolled up his eyes and worked his ears. She waited patiently, but he couldn't get out another word, and after a minute he turned away and climbed upstairs and banged the tied room door after him. Two hours later when she Went up. he was in bed and asleep, and he hadn't even wiped the toffiato seeds off his chin. Next morning Mrs. Bowser overslept by an hour. When she hustled down stairs the cook was gone. No nook! No breakfast! Oil the dining room table was a.note It read: Dear LaHy—-1 have went. If I stayed on Mr. Bowser would be waitin' to tie me to that kite’s tail to go- up a mile high and look for roses and .robins. 1 am not a tty. girl I bid you a long farewell! Wlieii the note was shown to Mr. Bowser tie grew purple and replied: "1 see the plot. Mrs. Bowser. I see the plot in all its nakedness, and some one shall pay for it I" “But”—' “Stop! Not a word or I will commit some desperate act!”

INTO THE BACK YARD.