Jasper County Democrat, Volume 16, Number 101, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 March 1914 — Page 4

COUNTRY NEWS LETTERS

REMINGTON. [From The Press.] REMINGTON R. R. TIME TABLE. No. 318 Fast behind 7:38 a. m. No, 331 West bound' 9:01 a. m. No. 34 0 East 7 bound 5:0'9 a. m. No. 319 West bound 5:33 p. m.

Elmer Holland and Phil Orfis made a trip to Indianapolis Monday. Mr. and Mrs. George Banes, of Wolcott, wimti J • iWill Banes. Sunday. Mrs. Cynthia Barneit returned Monday from spending the winter in Beloxi, Miss. Mrs;- Adam Fisher is quite sick at the home of her daughter, Mrs. Frank Nutt, at Lochiel. Mr. and Mrs. Albert Geier and baby, of Reynolds, spent Sunday- with AV. R. Geier and family. Mrs. Charles Dluzak returned ?Tuesday from a three weeks' visit with her son. Todd, at Wabash. David and Eulora Cresse returned Tuesday from a visit with their sister, .Mrs. .la.mes Snell, at Delphi. Mrs. Ott Bridgeman, of Kentland, visited her husband's cousin, Mns. N. E. Dunn, the latter part of last we< k. Misses Blanche Parks and Laura Peck went to Covington. Saturday morning, io spend Sunday with Irene Balo.m. Herman Alberts and family have removed here from Illinois and occupy the Kobosky fa rm, 4 m iles north of town. . . Mr. and Mrs. Blanchard Elmore and Mr. and Mrs. CharlesHowman went: to Indianapolis Tuesday to spend a day or two. Peter Baier returned Wedm’s lay. from a Peoria hospital, where he underwent an operation for, appendicitis about six weeks ago’ Ezra Whitehead, who last week was going to move toWheatfield with his family, has decided to stay in Remington. and for the present the old town is good enough for him. C. Hartley Cooyer will remove his family this week into the country and occupy the Burdette Roush residence for the summer. Hartley does not expect to do much in the way Of farming however. Mrs. William Kensinger, who lived east of Wadena, died Wednesday evening as a result of an. operation sos the relief of child birth. The. child died also.- She was a young ■woman and had been married but a couple of years. We have not learned of the funeral arrangements, but understand that burial will be made in the Goodland cemetery.

GOODLAND. ' '[Frotn The Herald.] Harry Butler is reported bedfast at his home near Avilla, Ind. Born, to Mr. and Mrs. Charles' AVilsdri. Saturday night, a daughter. Mrs. Clarence Rice visited the first <of the week with home folks near Remington. Mrs. PhilToutre is in Ambia. Ind.,

j I I ' ''' I * hr-* . I !/£■■£ y&fR •; j fee 's| iu ap . y-> ~. -W =O=it “t'T’Q I 1 o easy to see 1 that ‘Keep Cool’ will be my motto this Summer.” “ This light-weight suit with its quarter lining will be a lot better than a settingup drill with a palm leaf fan.” If you want a cool time this summer, come see our Kirschbaum Clothes• *ls *2O s 25Td up" “See the Guarantee and Price Ticket on the Sleeve" Every suit in the lot . < is guaranteed to be allwool,fast color, London cold-water shrunk and I hand-tailored. Come in and see them. Traub & Selig Rensselaer. Indiana

’’ at the bedside of her mother, who is ' dangerously ill. Mrs. George Gilman is visited her sister. .Hrs, Newton Wick wire, ami family at Chalmers Mrs; Chas. Dunkel and daughter, Leona, vi Tted m < I? c o and Chicago Heights , ; ■ -V Mrs. Ed Ttimer went to Thursday for a short Visit, with her sister, Mrs. Saint Pierre and family. Mr. and Mr-. John Stombaugh, of i liaTvcy, 11]., attended the funeral of i the former's ' con e i n. Al, Monday- afternoon. '■ . ■ , . Mr. and Mrs. Roy Shepard and two sons visit'd Sunday with Mts. Shepard’s sister. AC . Wm. Yochem, and husband. ■ Noah England le't Tuesday, for his home near Sc< by Mont..after a few days.stay here with his brother. .John and family. Air. .anil Airs,. Lon .Gilmore and little daughter returned to their home in Brazil Monday after a short visit here with relatives. " ■ S. A. Griffith left Monday evening for a visit with relatives in Findlay. Ohio, and Mt. Pleasant. Pa. He will return via Chicago. </ j Mrs; Lowe ami daughter, Inez. | have moved to Kokomo, Ind., where < Clarence has it good position with . the Haynes Auto Company. Clarence Lowe was home from Kokomo. over Sunday. ■: Mrs. Lowe ■ and daughter, .Inez, will move to that city within the next few weeks. Born, to Mr. and Mrs. Earl Greenawalt, of Chicago. on Wednesday of last week, a son. Mrs. Greenawalt was formerly Mrs. Tillie Weishaar A P. Hawn informs us that his tractor will probably be built in the city of Brook, as some of the capitalists are becoming ihterestod in his machine. . A Col. S. C. Spoor came tip from El - wood, Ind . , Sunday* evening and returned Monday afternoon. Mrs. Spoor, who has been sick for several weeks, is improving. Fred Gilman left Tuesday for Elmonds, N. D., to look after his interests near there. He is contemplating building <>n his farm i near that place this spring. Ben Erzinger. of Adelle, lowa, came -Monday afternoon for a short visit here with his sister, .Mrs. Clark Griffin, an d fan i ily. He will visit wit h his ,brother, George, in Fowler, before returning home. Robert Currens. a former Goodland resident, passed away at his late home at Sawayz.ee, Ind . Wednesday evening after an 7 illness of about' one year, of caiicer . of the siomacb. The deceased >vas 55 years old. and leaves a wife and nine children, three sons ami six daugh--1 tors. He was; a son-in-law of Chris Fehrle, who in company with .his son. John. Mr. ami Airs. ('has. Stath ' anti Airs. Elmer ATonesntlfh. of this I place, left for tihat Hare Thursday 1 mornim’ to attend the fun/Tal to he . -old thy Friday afternoon.

mt.'ayr. (Free t’<e Brr ok Ro-mrterA Mrs. I’d Brown came Monday for ■j few days’ vis;: with h'T la*her. Mr. John Baker. Joe Yeoman spent Saturday and Sunday with bis friend elms. Harris at Lafayette. : Mr. reach. ..6 ' ('rd w'n Point , is here •unking .pry- yraf’ptm to begin'. work oil the store road. Alfred Coovert moved into the Huffy store building last week where he has started a now bakery. Mr. Kennedy, of n< ar Stockton, Ilk, spent. Saturday and Sundav with his sister. Mrs. Randblyh Wright. , Mr. Lyons’ Warehouse ...has. finally been transformed, into a garage and Mr. Drullinger moved in on Monday. Mrs. Mills returned to her home in Chicago after niakihg a‘ few yeeks' visit with her niece, .Mrs. John Murfitt, ; Mr. and Mrs. John Flicknell returned Friday from a four-days’ visit With theformer’s -mother at Rensselaer. Tlie numerous articles, which disappeared from the school building some time ago, have reappeared just as mysteriously, Y Several Mt. Ayr people 'went to Foresman Wednesday evening of last week; on .Mr. Snow's motor car, to attend the meetings. » rhe Misses (lay Makeever. Lucy Harris and Orphia Barton come from school Saturday morning to spend the week-end with home folks. Mrs. W. W. Miller was called Saturday to Lincoln, Nebraska, to visit her Mrs. Ellery Herman formerly Miss Edna Long, who is seriously ill. Dy. Martin was called to see his brother-in-law, Mr. W. V. Van Natta, oi the Milroy Valley farm, southeast of Rensselaer, who fell from a wagon an injured his side.

BROOK. [Fyom The ' Reporter. ) Jacob Cline was in Chicago on business this week. Mr. and Mrs. Ray Ward spent Sunday in Goodland. Mrs. Chesney H,atoh was in Hoopston this week visiting friends. Sherman Hawkins and wife went to Chicago the first of the week. Geo. Weishaar went to Peru last Wednesday to look after his farm. E. M. Thayer went to Joliet Thursday to visit his brother, Hilaries, who is sick. Oscar Fields, of Peru, was the guest at the home of Isaah Lyons on Sunday.

-Mrs. Ben Leavit went to Momence Tuesday to attend the funeral of Mrs. Illem. Clyde Po.wel came from Chicago Saturday to visit over Sunday with his mother. Miss Lena Winquist was in Brook this week visiting her mother, Mrs. John Rosen brook. Mrs. Wm. Ullyat went to Crawfordsville on Tuesday to attend the state convention of the Royal Neighbors. George , Snyder returned from Stone Bluff on Thursday, where he has been; visiting?his sister, ;MPs. Ben Price. Clarence Stoddard left Monday* fpr Citi; a co'where he will join Mr. and Airs: Henry Simpson on their return to Washington. Florence Lowe came from i Aorta Saturday and spent Sunday with the family, who are to go to S]x>kahe shortly.; Nelse (ToTnents and family have been in Brook this week visiting and .getting their things loaded for the trip to North Dakota, where they will occupy the Jacob R. Rich fart:. Aunt Margaret Stair, who is 8J years of age, and is making her home with her son. Riley, js low with pneumonia, and owing to her advanced age little hopes of her recovery is held out by the attending physician.

WOLCOTT. [From The Enterprise.]

Mrs. Ben Walker, of Wabash, is visiting .Mrs. Geo. F. Baker and other friends. . Aaron . Blake has sold a half interest in the Blake & Cleland dray bnsines.s tp Joe Carr. Ed Troxel, of Cissna Park, was the guest of his another, .Mrs. Rudolf Troxel, Tuesday, Alfred Bowen, of Rossville, returned home Wednesday after a few days' visit with bis daughter, Mrs. .'Junie Parsons. Mrs. John Davisson went to Logansport Monday, where she entered Pluriimer's Sanitarium to take treat:t ’nt tor r’m tmatism. R. F. Dobbins and Charles Martin wentjto Indianapolis Wednesday !■ attend the democratic state convention held at that place. Mrs. David Dellinger died at her home in Wolcott. Tuesday, March 17tih, at C> o'clock p. m.. after an’ illness of fourteen weeks. Her death was directly due to Bright's disease. Funeral services were held from the home Thursday. at 11 o'clock a. m., and interment niade at West Point.

FRANCESVILLE. [From The Tribune.] Born, to Mr. and Mrs. George Ford, Jr., yesterday, a daughter. ■ , Aaron Kauffiiian, of Decatur. Hl., was here Friday and Saturday. He owns the farm southeast of town tenanted by Ed. Groves. Mrs. Amil Somers returned to Battleground. Saturday, alter a visit with her parents, Mr. and Mrs. A. D. Wright, southeast of town. Sam Koster; fornterly of Francesville, has been recommended to be postmaster at West Liberty. lowa, a town of ,I,7’tp. inhabitants. Mi's. Alary Markin is here from Rolfe, lowa, spending a Tew dayi with her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Peyton Davisson. Mr. Davi s.- n - leen quite sick, but is r«'port--d to be improving. ; Miss Geogia. Hanna, who has been dangerously ill ♦ roiii ; pneumonia;: is slow!} recovering. Her lather L; G. Hanna, and hi sister,-Mrs. Fred H-anna, ..o' .LesanspoTt, Were, sll-d here ];■ ’ V. .I; ,)I1 Lti’ccunt < Mr.' Mr:. James Hohl' r I rbib’ren, <>f Alonticello,' Were the guests of .’.j”, and Ur- . 7 T Garfinv ; i rt• • ij- -y .until M-. Mr. M ohler is now/located dn; a .farin' hav 7 ;:.- ij ep ebnij *-lh d ■„ gj the barber trade on acco'nt of indoor work not being a-.trct .'.i • tor h s health . Thpinas Fitzph.tr.ick died ' at the home of his daughter. ?. ! rs. Peter Eldridge, in Effingham. 11 ? at 6: ".o a. ni. He had b<eh ;■ |er t/’o winter there: and had been in e 1: ’ptionaily good health considering his advanced age of Sil years, I 1 itneral services were conducter] m the Catholic church there and lie body was brought to Francesville, Monday at noon and taken to the undertaking parlors of L. E. JJurcon, v. here the friends were ;permitted to view the remains. Burial was made in the Catholic cemelerv. at Medaryville. ■

MEDARYVILLE. fFrom The Advertiser.! Bert, Stanley and Charles Low have returned to their dredge work at Racine, Wis. ( harles 11.- Guild has been <*onfined to his home with a severe’ ca<e of thfe grip tor several da.s this v.eek. I: ■ \ Mrs. Chas. Kruger, oi San Pierre, was a recent visitor with her daughter, Mrs. Bivin Coburn, . and husband. ' Rev. and Mrs. John Sebring are away on a several weeks’ visit with the former’s sister, Mrs. Washburn, at Rensselaer. Esquire Calvin Coppess, who has been suffering severely with kidney and bladder trouble for the past six weeks or longer and who was improving quite satisfactorily had a relapse the first of the week and is again a Very sick man. Mr. and -Mrs. Alfred Zulich, of Brook, and Mr. and Mrs. George Johnson and children, of Cary, were visitors here over Sunday, having corng to help celebrate the birthday anniversary of the ladies’ father. John Watson, of Gillam township. Some sneak thief entered John Watson’s meat house recently and stole three choice hams. Mr. Watson has strong suspicions as tj the pertrator of the theft and as soon as he can verify and substantiate them, there will be “something doing.” ■ . ’

ROSELAWN. Wm. Overmeyer was a visitor Saturday. Mr. Burns has left Roselawn, supposedly for South Dakota. Mr. Johnson, of Thayer, was shopping in Roselawn Saturday. Business was brisk in Robelawn ■Saturday and everyone’was busy; G. 11. Jones, Fred Nelson and Wm. ioward attended Craig’s sale Fri11. H. Nelfeon was elecleu superintendent of Roselawh Sunday school Funuay. John Robin an„ Arthur Brouchette have purchased a hew gasb--n-.nt- and wood sawing outMary Jane Phillips was a Rensselaer visitor Saturday, where she is taking music of Miss Lois Thompson, We will venture the treats that :; ■s ia-.'-n has more bachelors than any town of its size on the map. All . retty nifty lookers, too. Quite a crowd from here attend- •■■■ James Craig’s sale at Thayer Friday A big crowd and good prices, ••• s reported, for every thing solA Miss Herschel Collins accot" aaii'd her cousin, Mary Jane Philli . home ■ rom Rensselaer Saturday evening, re’Urning to Rensselaer Sunday evei.ing.

Fred Fuller, section foreman here, '•ill take charge of an extra gang or the MOnon. Asher Baker will fill his place as foreman during his ' sonce. Brother Postil! preached an (y----•’.lent sermon Sunday morning from the I.■.th verse. 17th chapter of Samuel. More should hear these splendid sermons. Win. Boyle, our confirmed bachelor and auto agent, is also giving ree sample rides in his 1914 Coni' a Ford. He some times goes a? far as .Morocco.

McCOYSBURG. .Mayme Stephens took Sunday dinner with Alice Stevenson. Mr. and Mrs. Cary Lowman Spent > inday afternoon with his brother. M E. Lowman, Mrs. R. V. Johns and daughter, Eva, called on Mrs. Wm. McDonald Monday afternoon. . h, Mrs. D. W. Johnson. Mrs. Jim Jeffries and Airs. T. B. Stevenson call- < •< on Mrs. Chas. Stultz Sunday. Rey. and Mrs. Sutton and Ethel E‘ ruuson took supper Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. Chas. Stultz and family. - , , . ' Mr. and Mrs. Chas. Marlin, of Rensselaer, spent Sunday with her arents. Mr. and Mrs. John Herr, and family. Mrs. Paul Stephens and Mrs. Grant Lutz and baby called on Mrs. Stephen's parents. Mr. and Airs. John Phillips. Sunday. '

An armload of Old papers for a nickel at The bemocrat office.

ANNUAL PUBLIC SALE. '■ - -M irth Ranch, near Wheatfield, sa.le to commence at 10:00 a eonesday. March 25. 1914. Fcrty Head cf Horses and Mules—l . bid I’erehtron stallion, Wt. 1550; - - . r horse. Wt. 1500; 1 - ’• year o.g brown hpi se, wt 1300; 1 .-•ii- OM gray horse, wt. 1300; 1 team, y ' ■ .- . and 9 years old, Wt. 3000; T t» gray imps 5 years old, Wt. 2500; . t su Liu-wii’paat-es t> and .7 years old. black team > and II years ■ ’*•?- M light> •ar old bay inure, • ’ll y< ur jjhl bay horse, wt. 1 oid i.h.u.k horse, wt. : I Jtar ' ,uid- gray horse, wt. - . 1 live 't< or.- “1 day horse, wt. • x ; . ■ ; gray horse, wt. 1200; - i ‘ ■ 1-- “ " marts wt. 2500; ■ ••••■• v <>l :. i > 1 orsfe wt. 1100; ; - - horse, wR i .-ari; p •--• J- at; -■■:>. h< mate, wt. 1200; t . gtgy mare, WL l$ob; 1 ■■■■■' ... ■ ■ ;r. S i. x\ t - v .1.2 eai s old,’ wt. ■> n ; • a good, one; 2 suck- - ■ -4; -J 1U tn i.o: S< s .lot ■ - and some good 2 .year old-Sixty-Three Head of Cattle—3shead •f !• -J i-. J■ :.<• y and Durham cows. ,! i w..ich Witt be fresh on date of - 5 ..O’ ar. • :ly springers; 25 lr ad. >< : ■ xt.a .good -Hereford : calves; 1 I. r '• I bull; 1 J-rsey bull calf; 1 full utborti bull. Sixty Head of Hoes ' ■ J. rs ..y • f shoats, wt. from 75 to '■ Farm Tcols I International 7 Low‘■'•wn Tni’.nure spreader; xvagons; plows; cultivators; harrows; jpnk, in fact all Ks'.ids vi' farm tools. Terms—lO months credit will be given on - ims ovrr >lu at 0 per cent interest if paid whop due, if not paid when due S p.-r cent from date of sale. 2 per cent, off for cash when entitled to credit. FR EE . .conveyances, to and from depots at Wheatfield to ranch for parties coming via trains H. W. MARBLE. Il< raye M. dark, auctioneer.

pnr Dfinl/o -V , . . , llv *■* I The Democrat keeps on hand a number of legal blank forms, such as are endorsed by prominent attorneys 'of Rensselaer, including the following: Contracts for Sale of Real Estate. Warranty and Quit Claim Deeds. Cash and Grain Rent Farm Leases. City Property Leases. Notices (cardboard) for posting for Road Supervisor Elections. Chattel Mortgages. Rlease of Mortgage. Assignment of mortgage. Real Estate Mortgages, long or short form. Special price On quantities of 100 or more made up of different blanks. Price mailed postpaid to any address (cash with order) for any of the above, two for sc, or 25c per dozen (except long form Mortgages and Grain Rent Farm Leases, which are 50c per doz. or 5c each.)

THE BOWSER KITE

Our Hero’s Experiment In the Cause of Science. IT RESULTS DISASTROUSLY. A Search For Humidity Only Serves to Afford the S mall Boys of the Neighborhood Amusement, but Leaves the Bowsers Without a Cook.

By M. QUAD.

(Copyright. 1914, by Associated Literary Press. J FOR the first time in a year Mr., Bowser came h .uie froui the office at’ fioou. Mrs. ’ Bowser had only to glance at Liiin and the bundle under his arm to realize that he had a scheme on hand. : •’Well, what is it?” she queried. “I’m going to make a bit of an experiment.” explained Mr. Bowser. ”1 thought it Was time, for you to break out again. You won't be satisfied until you have blown up the bouse and all of us With it. Is it dynamite this time?” "Aly dear woman.” slowly answered Mr. Bowser, "isn’t it better for a man to be at borne storing up scientific knowledge in his mind than loafing around pool rooms and saloons?” “But what scientific knowledge are you seeking?" she asked. "As to discoveries, you've made about a hundred in the last two years, and almost every one of them has blown the windows out or knocked the back fence down.” "My dear woman,” he softly continued. "here are a few harmless sticks and sheets of paper. I propose to take them up into the garret and make a winter kite. Did- you ever hear of a kite blowing up anybody?" "But what do you want with a kite? Do you propose to run up and down the streets with a gang of boys at yot'ir heels?” No Subject For Levity. "Woman, remember to whom you are talking. 1 propose to make some experiments in the interests of science. You have heard of humidity. 1 suppose? The humidity you have felt has all been in the lower strata of atmosphere, on what you may call the ground floor. When the humidity ou the ground floor is 80 per cent what is it at a height of fifty or a hundred feet?” "How can I tell, and why should I care?” ’ “Ah, that is it. you e. But for research and experiment the world wouldn’t know that it is any colder

INTO THE BACK YARD.

at the north pole than at Key West. You should care in, the interests of science. If there's So per cent of humidity on the ground tioor and only 40 per cent at a height of TOO feet the world of science should be informed of the fact.” “But what good would it do if we knew it?” persisted Mrs. Bowser. ••Woman. 1 pity you!" said Mr. Bowser. "If all people were as indifferent we should never have kuown about the revolutions of the earth. 1 did hope for home enthusiasm and encouragement. 1 shall go ahead, however. The cook will make me some paste, and 1 will build a kitej” "And what's the kite for?" "To send up into the atmosphere, of course. Attached to it will be this instrument for recording the liDmidity.also a thermometer for recording the temperature. However, as. you take no interest in these things it is useless to waste further time explaining. Iletain your ignorance. Mrs. Bowser retain and hug your ignorance to your soul while 1 go ahead and make a discovery for the benefit of the world.” She had nothing more to say. and he got his paste and made his way to the garret. Nothing, more was seen of him till dinner time.' and then lie brought down a finished kite. “So you have, put off your experiments till tomorrow?’’ queried Mrs. Bowser. “Not at all." be replied. “I forgot to tell you that my first experiment is to be made after dark. What I want to get at is the humidity and temperature of the evening. There is going to be a good breeze tonight, and 1 shall count on favorable results.” Interested Spectators. Mr. Bowser waited until darkness fell, and then took his kite info the hack yard. He thought he bad deceived everybody, but not five minutes had gone before half a dozen boys had passed the word and were getting

ready to enjoy the fun with him. There was a good breeze, and it was no trick at all for him to get that kite up forty feet. He held it there for five minutes and then' hauled it down and excitedly announced to Mrs. Bowser, who was standing at the back door: '■l've struck it right off! What do you suppose the humidity up there is?” "I can't guess.” ‘’lt's 480 per cent- It's recorded right here, and there can be no mistake!” "It can't be. There wouldn't be half of that humidity in the densest fog.” “But here it is— 4“ per cent!” he persisted. "And ypu can't get around it. Mrs. Bowser. I have made a discovery which will set the whole world talking. While l am sure there can be no mistake. I'll send the kite up again to verify ray figures. So keep it clear of those telephone wires and I'll climb on the roof of the shed." .With laborious effort he clambered up. and the kite was passed - up to him. It had just got a start when the boys .hidden along the back fence began business, cucumbers, tomatoes, stones and lumps of coal were about evenly divided between Mr. Bowser and the kite. Botli fell at the same time, but Mr. Bowser fell the hardest. Something hit him on the nose as he was paying out string, and he sat down pn the roof. Then something else hit him in the ear, and in the excitement he rolled off. struck on the clothesline and was bounced into a snow bank dotted with the cook’s old cans and hotties and such. The cook lieified pull him out. They were bonding over hiin us consciousness returned. and he s.at up. "Well, wliat about the humidity?” asked ~Mrs. Bowser.

Mr. Bowser Sees It All. He rose with a painful effort. The kite lay there on the ground, and the heads of seven boys could be seen above the back fence. Without a look around, however, Mr. Bowser entered the house, Mrs. Bowser following. When they had entered the sitting room Mr. Bowser turned on her and hoarsely whispered: "Woman. 1 see—l understand.” "You understand the humidity was 4SO per cent?’’ she replied. lie extended his right arm and waved it. Then he followed suit with the left. Then lie kicked out both legs and rolled up his eyes and worked his ears. She waited patiently, but he couldn't get out another word, and after a minute he turned away and climbed upstairs and banged the tied room door after him. Two hours later when she Went up. he was in bed and asleep, and he hadn't even wiped the toffiato seeds off his chin. Next morning Mrs. Bowser overslept by an hour. When she hustled down stairs the cook was gone. No nook! No breakfast! Oil the dining room table was a.note It read: Dear LaHy—-1 have went. If I stayed on Mr. Bowser would be waitin' to tie me to that kite’s tail to go- up a mile high and look for roses and .robins. 1 am not a tty. girl I bid you a long farewell! Wlieii the note was shown to Mr. Bowser tie grew purple and replied: "1 see the plot. Mrs. Bowser. I see the plot in all its nakedness, and some one shall pay for it I" “But”—' “Stop! Not a word or I will commit some desperate act!”

Social Rivalry.

“I iindeistiiad that- there are two. rival..s<> iai sets in this totvii." "Ye-1 One set is composed of people who Im ve. undergone PpefatJbns for appendicitis and the others have .had the children’s adenoids reihoved.”—Chicago Record-Herald.

Pye i ng.

He was listening to her dyeing request, ■ - “Make it a soft brown shade,'- she pleaded- "Rut don't get it too dark.” “Yeis, madam,” replied the hair bleacher.—Cineii-inati Enquirer.

An Occupation.

“Life is a deuced bore. 1 wish 1 had some interest in life.” "I don't blame you, Percy. Why don't you a dog to lead you around?”—Kansas City Journal.

Sure Protection.

Customer (trying on dress suit, jokingly)—l hope I’ll never tie mistaken for a waiter. Tailor—When in doubt keep your hands in your pockets.—Judge.

The Favored Guests,

Cale Proprietor—l believe in system.' I keep a bouncer to throw out the obstreperous people who are not regular customers, and 1 throw out the regular customers myself.

Forewarned.

Father—Tour friend has a very open countenance, Sarah. Sarah—There! I told him to keep his mouth shut!—Baltimore

Mean.

She—Some day you’ll wake up and flrjd women ruling the universe. He—That’s the day I'm going to oversleep —Philadelphia Ledger. 4--,—,

Helping Him. Along!

“I do not know exactly how To say what’s in my heart. I long to tell it to you now, But cannot make a start.j, “My tongue has not the power to tel! My inmost thoughts.’’ said he “J cannot voice the dreams that dwell Forever here With me.” She looked at him and, smiling, said, As one who something, knows: “Cut out the speech and go ahead. It's time you did propose" - i-upriiU F;-<se .Press. /