Jasper County Democrat, Volume 16, Number 93, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 February 1914 — short Furrows [ARTICLE]

short Furrows

"When I look at th’ young dudes who are scamperin’ around these days wearin’ belted near-chinchilly overcoats an’ yeller shoes, an’ th’ bare throated close reefed springers with -her hair matted o’er ther ears, I can’t help 'expressin’ th’ apprehension I feel for th’ cornin' generation,” said Tell Binkley, as Mr. Ersie Moon an' Miss Vinette Mopps whisked by th’ blacksmith shop an.' darted upstairs t' th’ tango academy in th’ K. of P. hall. Continuin’ Mr. Binkley said: " ■.■ ■ '''' C "After a feller gits thro’ sparkin' these days he's insolvent. Lots o’ good sensible fellers would like t’ git married bu,t they don’t feel able t’ spark. They can't aflord t’ take th’ time an’ money. If a feller could, git married after a week’s sparkin' he might be able t’ scrape up enough money t’ stock a flat, that is by forgoin' a weddin’ trip t’ Cleveland an other eastern cities. But th’ modern girl seems t’ demand a long hilarious courtship before she's willin’ t’ give in an’ drop out o’ sight. Theu th’ young husband finds himself bankrupt with a yeller cane, a plug hat. a suit o' formal clothes an' a doll on his hands. With each spurt o’ economy her love grows colder. He gits tired o’ lookin’ shiny an' he! 1 muff goes out o’ date. A separation soon follers —th’ wife returns t' her, ole home on Chestnut street an' th' husband joins his rejiment on th’ rialto. "Back in th' good ole days o’ th’ fushia nosegay, ice cream parlors,

"Abe Martin” in Indianapolis News

cinnamon drops, spruce gum, autograph albums, an’ natural complexions, a feller had a chance t’ win a heart without th' use o’ dancin' pumps, or without neglectin'his business an’ denyin’ himself many o’ th’ real necessities o’ life. Love makin’ wuz almost self sustainin’ in 1880. lrl -rls looked ahead o’.ther noses, an’ th feller who gave promise o' bein’ able t’ support a wife eventually wuz treated like one o' th’ boys. Girls didn t make love o er th’ chop stiey bowl or in a secluded alcove o' th’ stuffy ballroom. An’ they didn’t expect t’ git on th’ outside of a few cocktails an’ a filet mignon after ever’ performance o’ th’ Two Orphans or East Lynne. Th’ parlor or th' narrow livery rig wuz th’ clearin’ house fer affairs o’ th’ heart. "What s th' sense o’ exhaustin’ all gh’ pleasures o’ life durin' th’ first few months o’ courtship an’ finally marryin’ t’ git rid o’ each other? by not save a few pleasures besides Niagara Falls t’ look forward t’ after you’ve satisfied th’ instalment houses? Marriage at best is quite a comedown fer most any girl, specially if her engagement period has been long an’ riotious an’ up-t’-dat,e. An when th tale tellin’ furrows o’ •are an’ disappointment begin’ t’ appear in her face an’ she appeals t’ a young husband fer a new pair o’ shoes, it haipt goin’ t’ git him nothin t say, ‘huzn I alius good t’ you in th’ ole days, Nell’? It's fer better t’ have loved an’ kept still about it than it is t' stall along on nothin’.”