Jasper County Democrat, Volume 16, Number 79, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 January 1914 — A Liar or A Lunatic [ARTICLE]

A Liar or A Lunatic

By F. A. MITCHEL

A party of young men were sitting around a table in the case of a New York club. The subject turned on the marvelous feats that are said to be performed by the fakirs of India. A number of these feats were described, each one more wonderful than the last, when Ned Garland told the following: “You’ve hit on a subject that comes very near home to me,” he said, “for one of my family was operated on by one of these Indians many years ago with a result that has recently made my hair curl. “During the last war with England—in 1814 or thereabouts—my ancestors lived on the family estate or farm, for that's all it was, not half a mile from where we are now sitting. One day my great-grandfather, Timothy Garland, a young bridegroom r had a quarrel with his wife and told her he wished he might not see her again in a hundred yearsi. Then he left the bouse with a bang of the door and, mounting a horse, rode down to Fraunces' tavern, where he proceeded to get gloriously drunk. ‘ “The next day, when he was sober, lie was beside himself with remorse and rode back home to beg his wife’s pardon. He found her lying in a comatose condition, from which it was impossible to arouse her. She had left with the servants a paper for him on which was written: “You have wished you might not see me again in a hundred years. You won’t see me as 1 was till that time has passed. “The upshot of it was that when he had gone down to the tavern one of these Indian heathens came along, offering to tell my great-grandmother’s fortune and do many wonderful things. She was full of anger at the time and told him she would give him all the gold she had in a stocking if he would put her to sleep for a hundred years; The rascal took her at her word and. performed the trick.

“Her husband kept watching for her to come to herself. He said nothing about her condition, not caring to have It known that it was through his harshness that she had come into it. But she remained as she was, ami after awhile he locked her up in a room, and since he made no mention of her she was at last forgotten. “When, the farm was sold the family vault was retained and the ground underneath which it was excavated descended to me. When I came of age a few weeks ago and took possession of it with other property I concluded to inspect it. I found a grewsome place full of coffins, some of which had partly rotted away. One that had been made of marble interested me. From a crack in the lid protruded a paper. I pulled It out and found that it had been written in a language I knew nothing about. “I took the thing to a professor of unknown tongues in Columbia college, and he told me it was written in one of the languages of India and 1 had to get an Indian of that province to interpret it. I hunted all over the east side among the slums for such a person and at last found one. It read in English: “Th.s lady is to be brought to life at the expiration of' a hundred years, or in November, 1913. "1 was told by the translator that only an Indian fakir could do the job. but luckily one had just arrived from Bombay, and I was informed where he was to be found. He read the paper and said he would try to bring my great-grandmother to life if I would pay him SIOO in case he succeeded. I agreed to the terms, had the sarcophagus removed to the top floor of a building I owned, paid in advance, and the Indian went to work. “He wouldn’t permit me to be present during his manipulations, but called me in after six hours. On a lounge was a woman about twenty-three years of age. She seemed only half alive, but was sufficiently resuscitated to speak feebly.

“ ‘Jim,’ she said, ‘how could you?’ “‘l’m not Jim,’ 1 said. ‘l'm Ned.’ “ ‘Oh, dear! What’s the matter with you. or is anything the matter with me? I feel so weak.’ “She had evidently taken me for her husband, my great-grandfather, who was just my age in 1813. “I looked about for the Indian, and he had gone. It struck me that I'd better have some one about, and I said to my great-grandmother: “ ‘Please excuse me a moment. You are not well' and need attention. lam going to summon assistance.’ “Do you know that while 1 was looking at her. even during this short time, she seemed to have grown older. Without waiting for her consent I ran downstairs, but as I went it occurred to me that I had better not be in « hurry about the matter; there were many dangers connected with it. I paused, pondered and went back to the room. I suppose I had been gone twenty ininutes. And yet while 1 had been absent the resuscitated bride of twenty-three had grown to be an old woman of 123. And as I looked she gave a gasp and within a minute had become a shriveled mummy.’ There was a brief silence, which was broken by one of the party, who said: “Ned Garland, you are the biggest liar that ever entered this club or ever will enter it.” “That s why I didn’t summon assistance. I knew I'd be put down either for a liar or a lunatic. Walter, take the orders!”