Jasper County Democrat, Volume 15, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 September 1912 — GANDERBONE'S FORECAST. [ARTICLE]

GANDERBONE'S FORECAST.

OCTOBER. A scene at Armageddon, A warrior ini tin, And every now and then a shout Emerging Ifrom the din. Some folks fancy Woodrow, And others fancy Bill, And others still for Theodore Are very hopefull still. A table and a pitcher, A speaker on his perch, And here and there someone asleep The same as in a church. The miracle of party. And the perfidy of doubt, With the usual statistics t Till the watchman puts him out A woman with a banner, Another with a drum,. And another with a curtain pole 'Revolving on her thumb. Some folks say it’s nothing, But others think it is i And like as not it wont be long Till man is getting his. The bull moose and the donkey, The elephant, the zoo, The trusts against the people, And the fake against the true: But do not get excited, Or take it veny hard, For they’ll all lie down together In the same barnyard. \

October was originally the eighth month of the Romans, but it brought watermelons and pumpkins in at the same time, and Numa Pompilius, who liked both, piuehed it along to tenth place to keep from foundering himself. A Bull Moose party formed to dethrone him, but he held on, and was able in the end to pull the skulls of his enemies around on a string on Hallowe’en, with a candle inside, from which we have our pres-ent-day Jack-o-Lantern. The zodiacal sign for October is Scorpio, meaning the Scorpion. It typifies the. manner in which candidates sting one another in the last few weeks of the campaign. October always has been the favorite month of the year. That more people have always married in June has only been explained upon the

theory that inasmuch as they are undertaking the battle of life together they probably consider that it would be juisit as well to begin at once upon the mosquitoes.

The gentle spirit of the Fall Will come to glorify the air, And the football player will appal The population with his hair. The referee will climb the poles And sound his shrill official toot, And the moth will drill a few more holes In everybody’s winter suit.

There is no glory to compare with that awaiting just ahead, when' the gossomer gets in the air, and the sassafras gets flaming red. A million harps have duly twanged upon the glories of the time, but si pbet still were rather hanged that not intone his little rhyme. ;- w You may destroy his throbbing lyre and pitch him headlong into the sea, but death alone can. quench the fire that underlies his melody. He’ll string a horse hair on a pole, and even stronger than before uplift the passion of his soul with getting back upon the shore.

At such a time, though you may laugh. It would as probably avail To catch the acrobatic calf And tie a brick upon its tail. One whiff of autumn in his nose, And lowering his playful head, His rear appendage still uprose, Though weighted with a keg of lead.

You can’t restrain the joy of Fall that palpitates in living things, nor hope to dissipate the thrall i® which a poetaster sings. The calf will kick and buck around, the colt will cut a few high jinks, and the poet’s zither will resound, despite what anybody thinks. The better quality of air Wilt speed the presidential race, And a cockleburr placed here and there Will help accelerate the pace. The troubled earth will gently sway Beneath the violent attack, And trusts will hustle corn and hay Along the fence inside the track. The eager riders, all inclined at least resistance to the air, will lash their quadrupeds behind, and feed them fagging in despair. The hungry

brutes will smell the hay, and catch the fragrance of the corn, and in their torture curse the day that saw the first reformer born. 11l lues the time when plenty dhows a helping hand on every aide, and still nobody ever throws a bite for being villlfled. It never was that way before in any other race they ran, and many good and lusty roar will sound the perfidy of man.

But that’s the kind of a race it is, say any creature what he will, and each man’s chance is only his with somehow keeping at it still. A strictly uncorrupted trot, with empty stomachs all around, is what they entered, and” they’ve got to make their charges cover ground. If Rockefeller and hiu set desire a little sporting bout, why let them wait a bit to get their trust-fed steeplechasers out. We’re having the first we, ever had, and while it toils, we’ll take a care to hold a gun upon> the pirate and his spoils.

The Hunter’s Moon will sail the sky To esctacire the human race, J And men will trail the pumpkin pie Through many a city eating piaop. The cider eign will grace the store. To offer men its ancient boon, And customers will bulge the door YVJith getting out of the saloon. |

The twelfth of the month will be the 420th anniversary of the discovery of America, and Messrs. Rockefeller, Morgan and Carnegie will give a dinner on that date to Christopher Columbus, who found it for them. The 27th will be the anniversary of the landing in this counttry of the man who put the Penn in Pennsylvania, and it will be celebrated in an appropriate manner by everyone who has put the important sylable In anything since. The moon will be full on the 25th,and the password for the month will be applebutter. And then November will renew, with somewhat cooler weather, and t'ljie. poor consumer sewing two thin union emits together.