Jasper County Democrat, Volume 15, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 May 1912 — The Assistant Postmaster [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Assistant Postmaster

By Cora A. Thompson

(Copyrisht. igia. by Associated Literary Press) The Misses Chilton’s School for Girls was situated half a mile outside the village of Rockwell, and the number of pupils averaged forty. It was in part what is called a school of honor; the young ladies were permitted to take walks in the country, and visit the postofflce and candy stores in the village without being i accompanied by a guard. It was understood that each pupil " was on her , honor not to flirt or elope. The eldest Miss Chilton was fortyfour years old, and her sister four ' years younger, and neither of them ■ had ever been in love or expected to ! be. They were cut out for old maids ■ and were very well satisfied. For eight long years not a single | one of the many good-looking girls Of the Chilton School had flirted or 1 eloped. It had given the Chilton sisters a sense of security such as a : police force could not have established. It is only fair to explain that j the farmers’ sons within two miles of the school were always too busy chopping wood or hoeing potatoes to flirt, and that the village was a staid old place never visited by drummers. Before putting the girls on their . honor the Misses Chilton had care- ; fully looked the field over. 1 There ; were half a dozen young men, but they were lame and halt and homely. There was Deacon Bradshaw, a | widower who dyed his hair and acted 1 colty now and then, but the sisters , figured that he would not dare go beyond certain bounds. No; the ! place was safe, and that was why the shock came with such force when it did come. There was a shock one summer morning. One of Mr. Dupont’s powder magazines didn’t blow up and level the cornstalks for ten i miles around, but the shock shook ! Chilton School from cellar to garret. Fanny, the elder sister, returned i from the village one forenoon and fell iin other sister’s arms in hysterical

mood. When she had been soothed and petted for five minutes she controlled her emotions sufficiently to exclaim: “Flora, it is our ruin’” “What!” t "There’s —there’s a young man in Jthe village!” “N-o-o-o!” "I have seen him with my own eyes!” “Impossible, sister!” "And have found out all about him!” “And he is an escaped convict?" "Not exactly that, but almost as bad. Oh, sister, we shall have to close our school within a month!” "But tell me.”

The postmastership at the village of Rockwell had been held by an old war veteran for many years. He was failing all the time, and had finally sent out west and brought on a nephew of his and made him assistant postmaster. This nephew was a young man named Clarence Sprague, and for smartness and good looks his like had never been seen in the village. He arrived one evening and took up his duties next morning. When half a dozen girls from the Chilton school rushel in at 11 o’clock, giggling, laughing and cutting up, there was a new face at the general delivery window—a new face and .a good-looking one. The owner of that face smiled at them and flirted with them, and the bevy ran out with a great clatter and slapped each other on the back. Their day had come at last

It is not to be imagined that those girls returned to the school to give the news to the old maid sisters and plead for protection. They returned to tell other girls, but to swear them to secrecy. The “discovery” was to be kept inviolate as long as possible. It was two weeks before the blow feU. During that fortnight there was more flirting In Rockwell than since the first log house was built by the

first pioneer. 41 Then the elder Miss Chilton dropped into the postoffice and saw with her own eyes and almost fell over in a faint. There were these who told her about the flirting, and when she reached home she was in a hysterical condition. The first thing was an edict to prevent the pupils from visiting the village without permission, and there was dissatisfaction at once. There 'nere even threats to leave the school. After three or four days of troubled minds the old maids solved the problem. They called on the postmaster and informed him that he must at once remove his nephew.” “But why?” asked the old vet, who had heard nothing of the gossip. “Because he —he flirts with our pupils!”

“Don’t blame him a darned bit! If I was a young feller I’d do the same.” “But he musn’t! You hear —he musn’t! It will break up our school.” “Nonsense! If you’d done a little flirting yourselves in days gone by you’d have been all the better for it I want Clarence here, and here he will stay.” “Sir, we shall appeal to the post-master-general!” was the awful threat, as the old maids retired. And appeal they did, and right on the ground, too, that the assistant postmaster at Rockwell was a flirt and bringing discredit on the department. It isn’t likely that the official read the letter or reply, but some clerk who sympathized with the assistant answered: “Flirtations are not forbidden by the rules of this department unless they seriously interfere with the work of the official, do not think that is the case in this instance.” The Misses Chilton had been sure they could oust the youpg man and drive him back toward sunset, and the failure was a great disappointment. “I’ll tell you what we must do,” said the elder sister, as the case was talked over. “We must not forbid the young ladies going into town, but we must select the most steady and demure among them and have her act as chaperon for the rest. She can take up so much of that young man’s time that he will have none left for flirtations.” These two old maids, brought up on oatmeal and the New Testament, and neither having ever been escorted home from prayer meeting by a man, thought they knew all about girl-nature! The “demure” girl they made chaperon was the biggest flirt in the school. She was a model chaperon while within sight of the school buildings, but once the village was reached it was: “Now, girls, scatter and have a good time, but don’t too many of you jam into the postoffice at once.” And as the days went past the Misses Chilton grew secure and complacent, and now and then the elder said:

“Sister Flora, you must give me <?redit for perspicacity in this case.” “I do, sister Fanny,” was the reply. "But for you our school would have been broken up by this time. Have there been any further reports of flirtations?” “Not a one, sister.” “How grand to be able to understand human character!” Two weeks later and then the whole world seemed to be spinning around like a top. One afternoon the “demure” chaperon was missed. Search was made, even under the beds and in the bureau drawers. It was extended into the country, but in vain. No one had seen a demure young lady of steady appearance paddling along through the dust. There were two persons in the school that got no sleep that night. When morning came they went to the postoffice in the hope of striking a clew. They were not disappointed. The old veteran was on duty, and at sight of them he rubbed his hands together and said: "Come right in, ladies; I have solved the problem!” "We are looking for Miss Blank,” was the reply. i “And you’ve come to the right place. I lent Clarence my horse and buggy yesterday to drive off and marry her, and now all your trounies are o’er. He can’t flirt with any of the rest of the school!”

Their Day Had Come at Last.