Jasper County Democrat, Volume 15, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 April 1912 — “ABE MARTIN” ON EASTER. [ARTICLE]

“ABE MARTIN” ON EASTER.

Inidanapolis News’ Philosopher Dialates On Observance of “Glad Togs” Day. I wonder how many folks out o’ our ninety millions o’ inhabitants know er care why Easter falls on a certain day? Easter Sunday is alius th’ first Bunday followin’ th’ first full moon followin’ th’ vernal equinox (snow er rain). If th’ first full moon happens on Sunday, then it’s th’ next Sunday. ’Bout one per cent, o’ th’ people that dress up on Easter Sunday knows what it is, an’ th’ remaining ninety-nine i»er cent, er principally interested in the line o’ pe-rade. Uncle Eif Pash says Easter nearly ahlus comes five weeks before th’ first circus in May, an’ when Pinky Kerr tried t’ git a little information out o’ Rev. Wilfey Tanger, he said, “Come around t’ th' church an’ I’ll icik it up fer yop.” Ernnter Sunday has long been regarded as a day t’ tog up an’ look J your best er stay in th’ house. It’s th’ only day in th’ year when th’ churches are crowded an’ rabbits lay eggs. Mlllilndrs often make enough on, one Easter hat t’ tide ’em comfortably over a whole year, while th’ feller that pays for it curses th’ Aldrich bill while his wife goes 1’ church wfith th’ neighbors. Th’ feller with five grown daughters don’t see much sentiment in Blaster Sunday. He’s too busy plannin’ t’ recupe before another one hits him. Th’ girl that makes her own clothes an’ trims her own hats aiius looks original if nothin’

edsie, but th savin' "is very great an if she stacks' up party lair otherwise she has little er no ketchin on. Dien th other girls U say. “Hcw’d jou spoge she does it?” ■ .

Lase Bud says a bhue. serge suit ’•s often good for two Blasters if you’re a painter an’ only dress up on Sunday. He says th’ peculiar, almost blindin' sheen, o’ a blue serge suit that has seen any considerable service is th’ only thing against it— that th’ seat o’ th’ trousers seldom, if ever, wear through. Popular prejudices, however, seems t’ have it in fer a whdny serge suit, an’ often (her consigned t’ th’ scrap bag er th’ Salvation Army in th prime o life—’cept fer th* gloss. Nothin’ .takes th’ ginger out o’ Easter Sunday like a good, thick, warm, steady downpour begCnnin’ at seven a. m. an’ continuin’ till th’ -last. Church bell rings. If it does rain on Easter Sunday it’s a sign you can't wear your white shoes fer seven Sundays. Even if th’ real significance o’ Easter is little known er understood it still fares better’n Decoration day. > If it didn’ come on Sunday ther’s no tellin’ how w’c’d celebrate it.