Jasper County Democrat, Volume 14, Number 56, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 October 1911 — Good form [ARTICLE]

Good form

Little Social Calling. The Interest taken by the woman of today in athletics, in the world, in affairs of public tenor, has brought about at least one welcome social change—the abolition of the social call. No longer are upper blinds seen to flutter suspiciously while maid or butler utters the solemn “Not at home” to relieved callers. The allotted twenty minutes of platitudes, during which hostess and guest conversed about such vital topics as the weather or the servant situatlcti, is reckoned as so much wasted time by the busy woman of society. The gradual disappearance of the calling custom does not mean a consequent damper upon social activity. What it does signify is a more sincere and a more natural phase of sociability. Today a woman rings up the friend she wishes to see on the telephone and arranges for a friendly little visit. The stiff rose and gilt of the front parlor have yielded to the cozy depths of the living Toom easy chairs and the staid conversation of the reception room to the cozy chatter of the tea table. What a bugbear were the “Tuesdays” or ‘•Thursdays” of the society leader, from which continued absence spelled social oblivion. Many a heartache originated in these drawing rooms of the dictator, where cuts were dealt right and left and arrows sent out by a satirical tongue which caused a sting which lasted for weeks. A vise of stiff silk, burning patent leathers and other Insignia of correct dress are not conducive of kindness and good cheer. For these very obvious reasons hail with joy the passing of an era Of silly formality. hastening to welcome in its stead the custom of “just dropping in for a chat” or an afternoon visit;

Telephone Courtesy. Many otherwise polite persons feel that they can be rude when engaged in a telephone conversation. With the first “Hello” many a man and woman drop their courtesy as if it were a garment that did not fit them. If the “central” were to record all that she hears and all that is said to her it would make some of us blush for shame. While men frequently swear over the telephone, there are many women who. while they do not give vent to profanity, so far copy the manners of the male sex that they scream like shrews at “central” if she happens to give them the wrong number or interrupts them before they have finished talking. That the ways of telephones and the persons who operate them are trying to one’s temper no one can deny, but the irritability that manifests itself in outward speech is not a requisite of the proper appreciation and use of the telephone. It is nothing less than a pernicious habit which most people acquire unconsciously. Let us remember that consideration and kindness pay better than rudeness and discourtesy. If not, then let us have poorer telephone service and preserve, our self respect. Make it a rule never to be rude to the telephone assistants. It is like shooting from an ambush—at an unseen foe, it is true, but it hurts just as much. Politeness a Valuable Cult. If regarded from no other point of view than as an asset in journeying through life, politeness and the observance of small courtesies will be found ,* very valuable cult. True, the blustering, pushing man or woman makes a way of its sort, but if closely observed neither can very readily come back another time with any success. Aggressiveness is often needed, but impoliteness never. When it is necessary to emphasize even that may be done With dignity and a perfectly polite manner, carrying weight far better than arrogance and rudeness ever can. Many there are who think and say that with some people to be polite leaves the impression of cowardice, but the well bred man ottoman knows better. They know that courtesy does not mean to be afraid of anything or anybody, and no mistake is possible. The courteous woman has always the refuge of silence or, perhaps, the privilege of sarcasm, while the polite man can defend himself with his fists if need be, yet help his adversary up with all the courtesy of a friend, thereby making a friend of him indeed.

Just a Few Don'ts. Here are a few suggestions in the way of don’ts which will be found to “wash well:” Don’t put your secrets on paper. They are safest in your, own custody. Don’t write anything unkind or condemnatory concerning a third person. The individual may hear of it and trouble follow. Always say less than you mean in a letter. Don’t write affectionate letters to any man except your father or broth- , er. Don’t write to a lover anything you wouldn’t be willing the newspapers should print with your name attached. You can’t tell what may happen. . Cultivate the art of writing jolly, friendly, clever letters, from which personalities are carefully eliminated