Jasper County Democrat, Volume 14, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 July 1911 — THE SMART YOUNG MAN. [ARTICLE]

THE SMART YOUNG MAN.

Once upon a time (this is no fairy story) there lived a young man about 18 years of age. He was an astute Alexander. He fcnew and understood women thoroughly. He said he did, and I know he would not tell 'a lie (knowingly.) He said he understood the fair sex and when he got married he’d be the “boss.” Well, away back in the past ages there was a man named Solomon. He had considerable experience with women. lie had 700 Wives and 400 “near wives.” Yet, with all his experience with married life he did not understand them. He was the wisest man in the world, but he did not understand women. Well, one fine day this smart Aleck got married to the woman he was to “boss.” The sun continued to rule the day, and the moon governed the night, and the little stars twinkled at the same old stand regardless of this young man’s actions. Time rolled on, and a little baby boy came to gladden the home. Then came the change. It was a ea*e of shoe the mare and shoe the colt and the old horse went bare. His wife bought all his clothes; she got 'his handkerchiefs, collars and underwear at the 10-cent store, and his pants were of the 98c a leg variety, and his coats $1.50 a 'sleeve. His shoes cost $1.82 a pair—$1,85 was the limit. For summer wear he wore a 10-cent jimmy and in the winter a soft hat that cost a dollar. His friends thought he was diked out for mardi gras or fixed up for a masquerade. Wifey cut her corns with his safety razor and picked her teeth with his fountain pen and the “boss” never whimpered. His name was Mud. He knows all about one woman now.—Selected.

The Oxford Gazette -Jjj, a recent issue had illustrations of a nice, new sanatarium, and a dandy operating room. Which leg do you want chopped off today ?

The Democrat office is well equipped to do the better grades of job printing.