Jasper County Democrat, Volume 14, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 June 1911 — A WANING HONEYMOON [ARTICLE]

A WANING HONEYMOON

Love Came to the Rescue Before It Was Too Late.

“I can stand this no longer. Just think—the honeymoon scarcely over and to be subjected to such treatment!" She stamped her foot. “Honeymoon!” he replied. There's mighty little honey in it. If that’s all the moon has to eat 1 don’t wonder it wanes so soon.” “How could it help waning, with you dying to get back to those horrid men who sent you home stupefied the night before —I was going to say the wedding—l mean my covenant with Satan?” “You mean that our hoiieymoon waned because I got ‘full’ at .my bachelor dinner?” “This is no time for your witticisms. I didn’t know that 1 was placing my life in the bands of one who could lose his self respect by pouring wine down his throat.” “I thought all bachelors were privileged to drink a last cupful of happiness before submitting to a life of misery.” "Before dragging a wife into a life of misery, you should say. Oh, that 1 should have put my neck in a halter!” "And mine in chancery.” "I’m going back to my mother.” "And I to my club. My room there is not yet taken.” "I suppose you sent to find out before your promise to love and cherish was a day old." "No; as soon as yours to honor and obey was broken.” “I was a fool to promise to honor. I never promised to obey." “They should change the words for women to ‘not to scratch.’ ” ‘“Not to be devils’ would do very well for the men. only men could not keep a promise to change their natures.” » y “Singular that you didn’t see the hoof under my stocking when we were courting.” - “Oh, the devil knows how to wear gaiters.” During the latter part of this dialogue the young wife was putting on her “things” to go. She looked very pretty as she stood before a mirror thrusting pins through hat and hair. The anger in ber cheeks and eyes was very becoming. “Better not jab that spike In when you’re mad,” said the husband, with brutal plainness. “You might pierce your brain.” “Little you'd care If I did.” There was more tremolo, which would have led any but a sulky man to seek a reconciliation. “I might get a new honeymoon.” sald the husband tauntingly. To this there was no reply except a new flash of, the eye. She was opening boxes on the dresser and shutting them with an angry bang. “Looking for your gloves?” No answer. “If it’s your gloves you’re looking for I’ve got them in my pocket. You remember last night when we were walking home and you were tellifig me how happy you were because you had such an admirable husband. Your hands were cold, and you took off your gloves so that I could warm your fingers.” He tossed the gloves on the dresser. His wife picked them up and walked out of the room. He heard the front door bang, then betook himself to his club. Looking about for some of his former associates to dine with him. he found they had all made engagements, and he was obliged to dine alone. After dinner be drank his coffee and smoked his cigar in the case. It didn't look so attractive as it had once looked. He was bored—in fact, he was troubled. Lovers who try to make up their minds that they are haters always feel troubled. It was not long before this one began to worry, thinking he might have gone too far and that he should have given his wife a chance to make up. At 9 o’clock he concluded to go to his desolate home. As he was approaching he saw tHe figure of a woman turn the corner. She looked up at the bouse, paused, turned away, looked back, turned again and walked slowly to the house. The husband stepped behind a tree. The woman went to the front door, stood Irresolute, inserted a key, opened the door and went in. “Oh, she took a key, did she?” He concluded to take a short walk. It would help matters for her to find him absent The house would look as lonely to her as his club had looked to him. In an hour he returned and went in, humming a merry tune. His wife was not downstairs, so he sailed up into their bedroom. She was standing before the mirror in her nightdress combing her hair. “Hello!” he said, with feigned surprise. “Tired of your mother already?’ There was no answer. “Oh, I thought perhaps you might be penitent!” He could see a flash In her reflection In the mirror. She put her hair up in a knot, walked to where she Had left her clothes and began to put them on.' He was a very mean fellow and, "permltted her to dress herself, even to putting on her hat. But when she started to leave he caught her In his arms, her head fell on his shoulder, and that was the end of ft—for that time.