Jasper County Democrat, Volume 14, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 June 1911 — Good form [ARTICLE]

Good form

When Men Are Rude. “My dear, isn't he the rudest thing you ever saw?’' This is shrilled in an indignant nasal twang as a man walks rapidly by two giggling girls and does not hold the door back for them to pass. It does look rude, but they forget that that same man just held back the other door and that they teetered through it without a smile of acknowledgment or the faintest “Thank you.” The girl who continually complains that men are growing rude is very frequently rude herself. The girl who is gentle and appreciative generally has no grievance along this line. She has learned that the average man likes to be courteous as much as the average woman wants him to be. Watch a girl who is modestly gracious. Doors are held open, window shades are adjusted, seats are given up —yes. even this last sacrifice is made—and precedence is yielded her at every step. She does not demand attention, but by her very presence she inspires it. It is not only the obviously cheap girl who is rude. The woman who bears every mark of refinement and wealth will ignore the commonest civilities in a manner that leaves the observer gasping. Look around you and see the women who are left to struggle with heavy doors and to pull themselves up the high steps of the trolleys and then look at the women who are always helped, always considered, even by the most negligent member of the male sex.

First Calls.

A first call should be returned within a week. The correct hours for calling are between 3 and 6 in the afternoon. If your hostess is out. you leave one of your own cards for her and two of your husband’s —one for her and one for her husband. If she is unmarried, you leave only one of your husband's cards with the one of your own. If you are unmarried you leave one card of your own. If she is at home you leave no card of your own, but one of your husband’s for an unmarried and two for a married woman. The general length of time for a call is about twenty minutes. Anything in the way of an umbrella or parcel that you happen to be carrying should be left in the halt

About Inquiries.

If you hear that one of acquaintance? is ill or in trouble it is usual to call at the house to ask how she is and leave a card having “With kind inquiries” or “With sincere sympathy” written on it You should not go in unless you are specially pressed to do so. When your friend is better she will probably send out postcards having “With thanks for kind inquiries” written on them. These cards count as a call, and it is then your turn to call again.

Card Invitations.

In a general way there is no very marked change in the correct forms of curd invitations, letters of introduction or in the convention of visiting cards. The preference for the old English and colonial text and also for the English script continues, although the Roman text may still be preferred -by those who are accustomed to its use, but it is not nearly as much in vogue as in former seasons.

Wedding Gifts.

The necessary silver for a, bride is four sets of spoons, which include tablespoons, dessertspoons, teaspoons and after dinner coffeespoons; four sets of forks, including oyster forks, and two sizes of steel knives with silver handles and also silver butter knives. If the carving is to be done on the table two sets of carvers will be needed. Any of these will make acceptable wedding gifts.

Cards.

When the maid brings a visitor’s card to a mistress, saying that there is a caller in the drawing room, it would be best for her to bring the card down afterward and leave it in the card receiver on the hall table; otherwise it might be mislaid. It is usually best to have some special place for the cards of the day in order that they may not be confusetT with those of callers on previous days.

Shun Slang.

Slang is a thing which can be indulged in only by those who are per fectly secure of their social status, though, on the other hand, an overfastidious pronunciation of words and a studious correctness of articulation are apt to suggest the idea that we have only lately come into possession of our h’s and our grammar and have in consequence to be guarded in our conversation.

A Well Bred Air.

It is not merely the etiquette but the tone of good society which should be cultivated by those who are making their way in the world. 11l bred habits of speedh, attitudes and tricks of expression will stamp a person, no matter how ceremoniously correct his or her entertainment, how excellent his wine or how Irreproachable her costume.