Jasper County Democrat, Volume 14, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 May 1911 — PERT PARAGRAPHS. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

PERT PARAGRAPHS.

GIRL takes care of her health because it improves her complexion, a boy because it increases his chance for the football team. If money were fathoms below the root of evil there would still be people who would be willing to dig for it A man sometimes thinks be could reform the town, only to find one small boy more than his match. Exercise is a necessity; otherwise many of ns wouldn’t take it as a gift If a new baby won’t get a man a raise in salary bis case is hopeless. The small boy who is always seeing chances for easy money is just as liable to grow up into an easy mark as Into a captain of industry. The high school girl just has to make collections for her herbarium when there is housecleaning in prospect A girl looks picturesque with ease and grace, but just watch a man try it

Judging by Results. “He is devoting himself wholly to art” “But he isn’t much of an artist” "Why not?’ “He Is making money at it”

Ready. We may not want to lick the earth. But If the earth needs licking: •Twill find when we have proved our worth It has no cause for kicking. Our army may not be so large As some that we might mention. But when the order comes to charge The boys will get attention. See how we moved them in a day And massed them on the border And made those who were getting gay Sit down and keep good order. We were not looking for a fuss Or war or gore or glory. But If a one were forced on us— Well, that’s a different story’. Tes, Uncle Sam is in the game, Though not a trouble maker. And, while he isn’t halt or lame, He Isn’t quite a Quaker. If there’s a job on hand that calls EJor fighting or for thinking. Though timid nations it appalls. He will not be found shrinking. But let us hope the worst will not Mix whites and browns and yellows. But If It comes to that, great Scott, He’s got the guns and fellows! Although of peaceful walks and ways, Of looms and shuttles humming, When It’s a case of gun displays You’ll find him up and coming. Couldn’t Resist. “I’ll never speak to you again!” she declared, with indignation. “And why not?” innocently inquired the man. “And why not?” she replied, with her temper rising every minute. Then she went into a three hours’ explanation to show she meant just what sb* said.

Midt an Impression. “How far along are you in geography?” “To page 43.” “No; I mean what subject are you studying?” “Geography, I think. I’ll ask the teacher and be sure.” All Round. “He Is a well posted man.” "He has never accomplished anything.” “But he is well posted.” “I notice that. He is posted at the elnb half of the time.”

Determined. “She Is going to be married.” “You surprise me!” “Yes, she is.” "When?” "Soon as she meets the man that she intends to marry and gets him to get her to consent.”

Proof. "I understand that he is dishonest.” “Dishonest? Nonsense!” “I heard he was.” "It is absurd. Why, he is as poor as Job’s turkey.”