Jasper County Democrat, Volume 14, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 May 1911 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE]

Humor and Philosophy

By DVNCAN M. SMITH

TTOWEVER questionable it may be about the world owing you a living, there can be no doubt that you owe yourself one. Many people have excellent aim, but somehow they don’t seem to understand what is game worth while. There is a heap of difference between nerve and nerves. There’s many a sip between the cup and your lip. Heiresses don’t Like to have the date 1 blown in the glass. i , Many a man has found matrimony a sort of lecture bureau. As long as a man’s credit to good be isn’t supposed to be in debt at aIL There is reason in everything except a woman, and she can do without it — just because. Lots of people enjoy being fools as long as they aren’t found out. ” T a man’s education isn’t complete until he takes a finishing course from his wife. Humility is the most pleasing to ns when it adorns our enemies. Married men should be thankful that they don’t have to sew on the buttons before they hook up the dress.

The Modern Wizard. The scientific farmer Is all the goods today. Soil Joggling is his hobby And training It his play. He takes a bit of landscape And figures to a dot Which crops on it will prosper And which will fade and rot. It isn’t many seasons ’ Since farmers east and west Looked down on the professor As something of a jest. With their old fashioned notion* _ His ways were out of tune. They planted their potatoes According to the moon. But now those days are over. His hand Is at the plow. He plans the crop rotations And tells the natives how. He orders beans or barley. Potatoes, oats or peas. And an abounding harvest H® fully guarantees. No more Is brawn and muscle The farming man’s first aid. ’Tis not by sweat and lifting That now he learns the trade. He takes his little booklet And reads a page or so. And, following directions, His crops are bound to grow. Trying to Rebuke. “Isn’t she perky?” b “Yes. She evidently knows there are people looking at her.” “Say?” “Well?” “Do you think she wants to censure them?” Precaution. "You are going to get married, I hear.” “Yes.” , “Yon ought to get your life insured first” .... w “Is it as dapgerous as all that?”