Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 97, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 March 1911 — PERT PARAGRAPHS. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

PERT PARAGRAPHS.

r pilE day the caller stays late is the one upon which John conies home hurriedly and wants dinner fifteen minutes earlier. When a man gets sore at himself his children and the cat know enough to stand from under. The woman who makes over her old gown so successfully that she doesn't need a new one is considered by her friends an enemy to her*scr. ~j.. .. The hihijuk: Temperament is appreclated !.’>■ know how to ..transniuo> if inio tlie republic Wo th ft our sins funling us out. 1 i is the neigtrtLrjQhat worry us. ■ k ' A woman may not know how to cook, but she will never admit it. Many a girl feels that desolation has swept over her and that life holds nothing for her when it is only a matter of too many chocolate creams. The man who can’s trace his ancestry beyond his grandfather always considers pride of birth un-American. Some men never discover that they have any vanity until they find a bald spot sprouting. The Spring Campaign. The spring campaign is In the land. And to the music of the band And other noise The funny boys Are very busy showing where Their candidates are on the SquareHot air to burn Where'er you turn And eloquence If not Intense And lofty v plans to set things right That now are something of a sight. Some patriots have heard the call. And they proceed to hire a hall To make it clear To who’ll give ear That they possess the only plan To aid and cheer their fellow man. But any person bright may guess Just why It is their case they press. They hear the chink And softly think They Wouldn’t mind a chance to draw The salary that’s fixed by law. But do they state it frank as that? They do not. you can bet a hat. They twist and turn And plead concern For honest men who pay the tax And bear the burden on their backs. But up their sleeve. You may believe. They have a joker tucked away To use if they should win the day. But now- with skill they plead the case. And not a smile is on their face. They promise long And loud and strong. As other men in bygone days Have promised with a hand upraised To guiltless be and free from graft If made the master of the craft. And do they mean it. less or more? They do. as others did before.

Same Thing. “He played the races for the first time in his life and won S4OO on a 50 to 1 shot” “And what happened then? Did be wake up?” “No. but he might as well have. He went right back and bet it all on the next race.” So Sympathetic. “She cries every time her husband has toothache.” “How foolish!” “Oh. 1 don’t know.” “Don’t you think it foolish?” “It is mighty trying. You see. I know her husband.” Her Idea. “What is your idea of a satisfied wife?’’ “There is no such thing.” “Oh. yes; there is.” “What is it. I'd like to know?" “A widow." Some Appetite. The automobile eats no oats. As horses from the range. But very soon the owner notes The way it eats up change. Not Interested.

“Are you the janitor?" “Yes.” “When will it be warm tn my flat?”. - “Madam. I am not a weather prophet"

Spring work calls for the Barnyard Shoe, a shoe that is durable and comfortable. Over 300 people in Jasper, county wore them last season and are a unit in pronouncing them - the best.—Fendig’s Exclusive Shoe Store. Opera House Block.

Everything we sell is guaranteed to give good satisfaction or it will be replaced with new. Call and inspect our line of suits from stock and tailor mades. As Easter is not far off? and now is a good time to pick your suit. — C. Earl Duvall. . ■