Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 90, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 February 1911 — Good Form [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Good Form

Fiance’s Family,Must Call. Unless severe illness 'in his family prevents, a girl who has just become engaged must wait for her future bus band’s family to call upon her. The reason for this is obvious. She is about to become a member of another family. If she is welcome here its members will hasten to greet her; if she is not they will stay away, says Rosanna Schuyler. She may not make the first call, for then she is in the position of forcing her acquaintance upon them, and if they are inconsiderate she may be subjected to snubbing. Courtesy and good form demand that, even if a girl Is not altogether welcome to her future ‘‘in-laws,’* they shall call upon her as soon as they know of tl»e engagement, for If they fall to do so if Is an announcement to the world that they are displeased. It is always the part of wisdom to keep knowledge of private family matter from the public, and so it is that a woman will go to see her sou’s fiancee, even though she may wish the engagement did not exist. The only justifiable excuse for the older woman’s not going at once is illness on her part or that of her family or a good and sufficient reason whyshe should not receive the girl, A woman of any experience will heJUtaitf before she will make such a sweeping condemnation of a young woman whom her son expects to marry. If a young man’s father should call upon his future daughter-in-law it is considered a mark of courtesy, but is not required, for the visit of the older woman means his sanction to the engagement. - If a young man who has become engaged has any sisters they, too, must call immediately upon his fiancee, even though they may not have known her previously. On her part she is to receive such visits with cordiality and good feeling. If for any reason she has not cared much for her fiance’s family and has known them any former lack of friendliness must be removed even at the cost of effort, for it is both 11l bred and stupid for a girl not to be on good terms with her future husband’s relatives, and if necessary she must overlook everything not inconsistent with self respect in her endeavor to have peace* even if only on the surface. If the young man’s family live in another city they are supposed to make their welcome through letters wilt ten at once" to the girl. She may not be the first to write any more than she is to call.

< A Dinner Dance. For a dinner dance the hostess issues two different sets of one to those persons whom she wishes first to entertain at dinner, and invitations to these would be her regular engraved dinner cards, with the words “dancing at 11” written in the lower left band corner, and one to those whom she wishes to ask in for the dancing only, and these would be her regular “at home” cards, with “dancing at 11” written in the lower left hand corner. Or for a small party she may use in place of the latter her visiting card, with the date upder her name in the lower left hand corner. “Dancing at 10:30.” When a dance is to be the occasion of Introducing a young woman into society either the first or the second of the forms given above may be used. A hostess in sending out invitations for a dance should carefully consider what dancing space she will have at her disposal, whether the entertainment is to be given in her own house or in a hotel suit rented for the occasion. To crowd a small, narrow, 01 ventilated drawing room with dancers is a grievous mistake. Two small dances will please better than one unpleasant crush.

Etiquette Point*. A man should never speak of his sister or fiancee as Miss Anybody, but just her Christian name. If you are engaged to Agnes and are announcing the fact, don’t say you are going to marry “Miss” Agnes Williams, but Agnes Williams. A Woman should not speak of her husband hs “Mr. Seymour.” It is pretentious, but the custom is so thoroughly ingrained in this country as to make people oblivious of its impropriety. For a woman to speak of her husband as “Mr.” So-and-so to any one but an inferior Is a species of snub. A woman should always say “My husband” to acquaintances and “Ben” or “Fred” to her friends. Signing One’s Name. “Should a widow use her husband’s name on her visiting card or her own Christian name? Should she be Mrs. Cyril Smith or Mrs. Charlotte Smith? In signing one’s hame to a letter how is It usual to indicate whether a woman is married or single?” A widow may use her discretion, At present it is customary for her to continue using the same form she did In her husband’s lifetime- In signing your name write it simply Mary Brown or Emma James, and put Miss in brackets in one instance and Mrs. John or Robert in brackets in the other.