Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 88, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 February 1911 — Page 8 Advertisements Column 5 [ADVERTISEMENT]

HUMOROUS QUIPS The Microbe’s Serenade. A lovely microbe met by chance At a swagger bacteroidal dance A proud beciliian belle, and she Was first of the animalculae. Of organism saccharine, - She was the protoplasmic queen. The microscopical pride and pet Of the biological smartest set. And so this Infinitesimal swain Evolved a pleading low refrain: “O lovely metamorpnic germ. What futile scientific terip Can well describe your many charmaT Come to these embryonic arms. Then hie away to my cellular home And be my little diatom!” His epithelium burned -with love. He swore by molecules above She’d be his own gregarious mate Or else he would disintegrate. This amorous mite of a parasite Pursued the germ both day and night And 'heath her" window often played This, Darwin-Huxley serenade — He’d warble to her every day This rhizopodical roundelay: “O most primordial type of spore, I nfever met your like before! And, though a microbe has no heart. From you. sweet germ, I'll never part. We’ll sit beneath some fungous growth Till dissolution claims us both!” —George Ade. One Lie All the Time. Satan—l have called yon in to explain this peculiar record. -You are recorded with the same lie ITjDOO times. This is the only sin you bare committed. I am curious to know why you told this same He so many times. New Ai rival—Well, your majesty, it’s this way: My wife is very fat, and every time we passed a woman Who was the least, bit plump she would say. “Am las fat as that?” And I always replied. “Morey, my dear; no!” - Puck. Lucretir Ecrgia. “1 think.” said f,u« r r: ia Borgia calmly as slle administered a dose of Jamaica ginger to her suffering “I think I shall devote the most of my time this summer to writing my memoirs.” “Good!” groaned the sufferer between spasms, “j was afraid, my dear, that you were contemplating the preparation of a cookbook.” Rehearsed. ’ Charles —When I asked her if she wonld be mine she put her arms around my neck and whispered that she was so happy. Amy —Tes, that is what she told me she was going to do, and, what’s more, I happen to know that she has been practicing it with Cousin Tom for ever and ever so long.—New York Journal.

PUBLIC SALE. Having decided to move West and quit farming, I will offer for sale to the highest bidder at my home 6% miles southeast of Rensselaer and 2 miles east and 7 miles north of Remington, commencing at 10 a. in., on TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1911, 8 Head of Horses —Consisting of 1 Bay Mare in foal, 7 years old, wt. 1000; 1 Black Mare in foal, 6 years old, wt. 1100; 1 Bay Mare 3 years old, wt. 900; 1 Gray Horse 4 years old, wt. 1300; 1 Bay Horse 4 years!

I (m W BB „ ' V |,J • iHsHSHiK old. wt. 1100; 1 Bay Mare 11 years old, wt. 1150; 1 Bay Mare 12 years old. wt. 1000; 1 Yearling Colt. Farming Tools-—Consisting of 2 Walking Plows, 14-inch; 2 Cultivators, one riding, one walking, gopher attachment; 1 Corn Planter, 100 rods wire; 2 Harrows, 2 and 3 section; 1 Hay <Rack or Dadder; 3 sets of Harness, 1 set of Fly Nets. Household and Kitchen Furniture —2 Stoves, 2 Tables, 1 Cupboard, 5 Bedsteads, 1 good Singer Sewing Machine, 5 Rocking Chairs, Kitchen Chairs, Cabinet, and other articles too numerous to mention. Also those desiring to offer any stock, machinery, etc., will be welcome and can arrange with L. J. Lane to put same pp for sale. A credit of 10 months will be given on sums over $lO, with usual L. J. LANE, SAM SIGMAN. W. H. Kenyon, Auctioneer. George Chappell, Clerk. Hot lunch on grounds.

Genuine German Potash Salts i l ' . f