Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 83, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 February 1911 — Good Form [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Good Form

If you are a boor among your acquaintances they cau severely leave you alone; you can give the cold shoulder to the cad iu the office or the works; you can escape the fool in the morning train; you can have a prior engagement if your pet aversion asks you to supper. But your home people are under the inexorable necessity of living with you. A man sometimes gets into the habit of 'thinking that anything will do for his home people. He treats them as daily bread; he does not exert himself; he reserves his best for outsiders. He says he likes to be homely at home; that is very well so long as ft does not mean being vulgar, lie says he likes to be at ease in his home; very well, too, if it does not mean being thoughtless. Familiarity breeds contempt It is not easy to be constantly patient and profitable and pleasant to those whom you meet every morning at breakfast The breakfast table is often the greatest disillusioned More secrets of character are revealed over the bacon and eggs than over the dessert. There is no severer discipline in the world than that of the home, and most of us go down under it in this matter of courtesy. Don't let us put off our manners whin we put on our slippers. Let us be the more considerate when it is only our own whom we have to consider. And just because our home life is private and is screened off from public judgment and is sheltered from the re l stralnt of public opinion let us be the more scrupulous that we may be void of the offense against the heart of love. Behind many closed doors and drawn blinds there lie grim tragedies, and many of then may be traced to seemingly trivial slackness in the courtesies of love. This is the rift that has made the music- mute. Take care of the courtesies and the grand passions will take care-of themselves.

The Desirable Guest. The person who can talk entertainingly is the Lest type of guest at social gatherings, for she who chatters incessantly is almost more undesirable than one who is too quiet, for the latter gives opportunity for other persons to express themselves, while with the former to say even one word is often a struggle. The balance between these extremes is the art of stimulating a temporary companion to conversation, and at no place is it more important to adopt the correct attitude than at a dinner. Mote than one man has been obliged to talk so much when sitting beside a quiet woman that lie has not eaten enough. Such conduct 011 the part of a woman is deck! idly inconsiderate. , At dinners and also at formal luncheonsit is a good idea to watch the plates of neighbors, and if one person has been talking so much as to have fallen behind in the course it is tactful to take conversation into one's own hands, giving the other a chance to listen and at the same lime to eat. It is not good form to monopolize the attention of one neighbor to such an extent as to prevent him or her from talking with the person on the other side. Often it is a temptation when on one side is an attractive perr son and on the other one who is dull, but politeness makes dividing tbg attention necessary. 1 If one person is kept constantly in conversatioh by one neighbor at a dinner it means that he or she on the other side sits much of the time with no ,one to talk to, for the guest farther on is certainly giving some time to the person on his or her other side. Wedding Reception Before Ceremony. The wedding reception should precede the marriage ceremony. This is the newest suggestion from London. Instead of the “at home” that usually follows the society church weddings, a reception that is similar In every respect practically to the old time function should be held on the day before the wedding. The parents receive the guests while the bride to be and the bridegroom elect stand together to receive the felicitations of their friends. All the wedding presents are on view, and everything is the same as in the “at homes” except that the couJ pJe are not married. The reason for this new arrangement is that it saves the crush at the bride’s home follow lng the church wedding. It Is more comfortable for the couple and their

parents to have a qniet hour while preparations for the wedding tour are being made. Such an arrangement also gives the bride and bridegroom an opportunity to slip away quietly. ■' ——— f- ' . v Grammatical Points. Many people make mistakes in the use of “lay” and “lie.” It is correct to say “I am going to lie down.” “I am going to lay down” is not grammatical.. One may inquire, “Laj - what down?" “Shall” and “will” are also often incorrectly used. Learn to say* -“I shall, we shall, you will, he will and they will.” This rule guards the switch where most people get off the track. “Will” in the first person must always have a touch of volition, and “shall” in the second person gives emphasis to authority. But courtesy demands that both authority and self assertion be avoided whenever needless.