Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 81, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 January 1911 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE]

Humor and Philosophy

By DVNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS. TF you were suddenly to stop some men in the midst of a monologue it is ten to one that they couldn’t tell what they' bad been growling about -when the interruption was over. Clever Johnny. Teacher—Why is a field of grass like a person older than yourself? Johnny —Because it is past your age (pasturage*. Teacher—What is the best way to raise strawberries? Johnny—With a spoon. Teacher—How can a person make his coat last? Johnny—Make his pants and vest first. Teacher—When is a man duplicated? Johnny—When be is beside himself. Teacher—What is it that occurs twice in a moment, once in a minute and not once in a thousand years? Johnny— The letter M. Earth, Sun and Moon. If the earth is represented by a large marble, an inch in diameter, then the moon will lie a small pea. two and one-half feet away, and the sun a nine foot globeat a distance of 320 yards. A hollow globe as big as the sun would leave plenty of room for the moon to revolve at her usual distance. Mother's Cares. My dolly surely is a care. The doctor said she must have air, And so. in spite of wind and weather, She and I go out together. She’s looking better, I can see. But it is rather hard on me. Telling our friends of their faults may not improve their conduct or morals, but what's the odds if it works off our grouch? Doing your best is not enough. You must do the other fellow better.