Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 80, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 January 1911 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE]

Humor and Philosophy

By DVNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS. TF Mrs. Newlywed talks much of her husband her friends vote her a bore. If she doesn’t they are certain she Is unhappy. Give the small boy half a chance and he will show you what trouble is. A girl may not be good looking, but if she can make the world think she is what does it matter how she does it? Riches have wings, but nobody is willing to give them a license to fly. When a man gets a bad case of indigestion he tells his wife he doesn’t see how she will manage when he is gone. When a woman thinks she is seriously ill she wonders who his second wife will be. When a man returns from a trip his wife hopes he will think to bring her some trifle, while all he thinks about her is to wonder what she will have for dinner. i A man doesn’t mind it if his Wife earns an occasional dollar or two, but he does hate to have her tell it to the neighbors. A man will allow his wife to select his ties with extreme docility, but he is apt to rebel when she tries to put his box shaped foot into a kite shaped shoe.

Her Way. “Edith, you seem to have a sort of understanding with two or three men.” “Yes.” “How do you reconcile that with straightforward conduct?” ’ “How?” “Yes. You can’t be engaged to two or three at the same time.” “I am not pretending to. lam just sort of engaged on the installment plan to each of them.” Sale bills printed while you wait at The Democrat office.