Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 75, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 January 1911 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS. . YYTIEN a woman has to get out and hustle six (lavs in the week to keep a roof over her head it doesn't Cheer her Weary soul to be told that a woman’s place Is in the home. Man’s inhumanity to man often makes him able and willing to be a large subscriber to charity funds. We hope for the best, but that is as much as we are willing to do for It. A man’s idea of being care free is having somebody to run the furnace for him. - <’ . A woman’s idea of being care free Is not having to get up and get breakfast in the morning, . The rising bird man cops the altitude record. Few men are wise enough to let a woman have the last word without trying to beat her to it. A pretty girl has no need of brains Until she marries, and then she doesn’t know liow to use them. A man doesn’t like to be called a fool. For that reason it is best that some men should be nameless. When a man praises the dinner highly «hls wife wonders what he is trying to square himself for. The New Deal, The law of supply and demand We fear Is about to be canned. The law of combine Is more like a mine An<l has on our business The Indian sign. The rule of the era we must Acknowledge is here in the trust They gather us in. Our goods and our tin. Arid where we get off Is the , place they begin. We looked at them once with askance. But now we can see at a glance A far better way Such forces display. We might as well like them; They’re with us to stay. The age of the man all alone Is gone with the era of stone. The corporate hour ' , Is here in its power. No use to deny it Or go looking sour. Pray What could a single man do A continent cutting in two Or running a line - From seaboard to mine And shinning up mountains And down the decline? A fact in our lives and our purse. We take it for better or worse. We look to the law, ■" But always a flaw T That gives them a loophole Is all that we draw. And who is so wise as to know What out of this business will growl There may be the prize, World stunning surprise, . Wrapped up in the thing , When people get wise. Needs Readjustment. “My sou knows a lot more than 1 do.” “Is that so?” . - “That is a fact.” “Then there Is some hope of him, isn’t there?” “I am sure I dbn't know, and then think how bad it is for me.”

The Real Reason.; “W h y are there so many poor people?” “Because poverty isn’t expen sive, dear.”

The Worry Cure. “He is very lazy ” “I know* hat will cure it.” “Goodness! Tell me.” “Just get him to worry and he will get over his laziness.” Slightly Mixed. “How are you getting along with your languages?” “The Greek is all Dutch to me.” “Aud the German?” “It’s all Greek.”