Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 67, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 November 1910 — GANDERBONES FORECAST [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

GANDERBONES FORECAST

FOR DECEMBER. i Copyright by C. H. Reith, 1910.) Tom; Tom. the p-ip.« r',s Thought to .'s >al a,notf »-i one. ' ■ - ■ But v> bi n. .with Lacon ,10 Cents, I!- .t upon the. eon.--qu- twe, Ami what he probably would get In case he. landed in the ra t. Th* lawyers- he would have to hire To ’■)-.•■ hhn from the Lutcher's ire, - !h< n-oftey (■• <;.il.y v.ot;.'l *;>'rd To push it to the bitter • nu. 'i h* Ucgs coiietTn of Swift. - T<> see he v.as not.set adrift, Air, .-a-. 11 be lied, • ’ offet for him live Or dead,. .-a<! I;o-,v the unforgiving hist • » t • ng* at”•< uou.'d movO tn*? trust To ir.?!:‘ vSarr.pte oi him lest Son.* other piper's son protest .'■gains: .oik thoj s at thirty Hat, And pici-e i. pigs', feet selling at Six-bits a dozen, souse a bit. And- sai.sag- s' even close to it— When Tom considered it. in brief. And also how mueb more a thief He would 1>• this time-than before, lie w •se-v passed, the butcher's door. Rejob -d that seif bad stood the its:', And went on hoping for the last. December is from the Latin decern; meaning ien. It was originally the tenth month of the rear, but ow ing to the w idespread unpreparedness for Christmas it has been slewed along from time to time, until it occurs now as far back as we have been able . get it. Ceasar, who Was in? the habit of making each of his soldiers a present, even suggested pushing it further al<ihg still and having fifteen months in the year, blit the Rpman merchants protested that it Was impossible to sell holiday goods except in very cold weather, and Brutus, Cassius and several other Roman business men finallv stabbed, him.

Tire custom of giving presents was originated by the Greeks, and they had such a faculty for getMng the better of it when they ‘exchanged presents with anyone that the expression "Beware of the Greeks bearmg gifts!” becgine Itistoric. It was on a Christmas- day when all of the ireeks were >ln*w;ing what they had gotten ami were laughing . b. ut it that Diogenes, who maoe a practiced criticising the niitonal iaultsjn some amusing way set out on hi> famous search for an honest man. . The Persians one time resorted to arms in an efts rt to get their presents back, hut. they were badly defeated at the battie <*i Maratjh.on. and n > -eri ms attempt to get present*back has ever been ma le fr<m that time to t? is. ■ d The colt will Lmriow in the stack, and the festive colt will ircli his back and gamb< 1 at a icarild gait to 'make his ichordircn’aie. The Bear will slumber in bis bed and dream that Roose-’ veil is dead, and'the W inter night will worry through with t.he wolf ki-yi-ing down the due. The wind will push against ti e -.!»»or. ami our old friend Boreas will roar and* fill the. W inter night ami tell with samples of his college yell. Ihe price < I eggs will feel imbued to beat the mark for altitude, ami butter Ivilli cavort qrotind abwpt two miles above the ground.

( > happy man that has his h <4 slicked up against the W imer’s c: I I. ami has no urgent need -to reck how many storms ma\ -weep his deck. Who has !:> scuppers bulging kraut and ; things si ip-shape in and < lit. an i all the pro.luct> of his clime rig's, at the port i (des at the time.

() happy _ day ti.at fixed our pick upon this land and 1-ri.de unstick our ! d\V-horn Colors in the ground and claim the country ly ing 'round I And cheers, moreover? one, two. three, for ; freedom’s .aborigine, who 'did n c prove so awful- stout but what we all could throw him- out !

It is' the place and no’ mistake, .tor- raising provender to bake, and giving steely to the least ew stmtial to a Christinas feast. A bug or so is on the job and the weather generally plays hob. but on ,'lie whole and in the sum we re dog-gone happy that we come

On the 21st of December the sun will cross the Tropic of Capricorn. which will give the trusts the ball on our five-yard line, one down to go. They will go over the next play, and Mr. Rockefeller. who is playing greenback for the trusts this year, will kick goal. The features of Christmas will be that Mr. Roosevelt won't have any. He isn't taking any chances on Santa Ciaiis even handing him anything else this year. ’

.As many things have bust before, a'nd bingo! on the parlor floor will .go .the Christmas ,odds arid ends with which his vatch-'cm-all distends. TTie costly presents ami the rare, and while we aIT grab here and there for each his xhare of it the mifth of*Santa i l;ms will fill the earth/Tltose merry peals which rouse the echoes .overhead, and laughter flavored with reproof reverberate around the roof. 11c never meant we shortld pervert the <’;.y with hanging up a >hirt, nor iwr thoiigkt, by any chance, of Eiling Rockefeller’s pants. : A socktiil each is all there is, and wpe to him 'who takes for liis a greater portion, hook ’or crook, than each Originally took. Tor every person that descends to tying pants around the closing shirts around the base there is a reckoning to face. The laws of Santa Claus are good, and in tie end arc what we would desire they were—that is to say that this is everybody’s day. A* single sock above the tire is all a body should trntl there before the glowing log nopody keen to be the hog. In such a spirit was it said that all days are to get ahead e xcept this one, whehwas designed for excryone to get behind. The merry holidays will conie, and Santa, sliding on his turn, will billy buster to the grate, and do his best, at any rate.

What remains of Congress will exchange experiences at Washington during the month, and the man who semis Mr. Taft the bigge-t Christinas turkey will get a good job around the White 1 louse. Then January will be here To cheer us now and th< n, ■ And in the glad and new-boih year We’ll all swear off again. .*