Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 59, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 November 1910 — GANDERBONES FORECAST [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

GANDERBONES FORECAST

FOR NOVEMBER. i Copyright 1910 by C. H. RiethJ JFST A MINUJE—NOVEMBER. Mr. Taft, who rules the nation. Offers this, his proclamation: Whereas, Providence continues Blessing us from day tp day, And the boon of Independence Hae, we take it, come to stay; ’ • And whereas,-Indulgent Nature Lavishes upon us still Bounty in excess of what the Weather and the bugs can kill; And whereas. The Old Republic Couldn’t be improved upon. Notwithstanding everybody ' Gets to run it off and on; Therefore, I, as delegated > Now and for a short time hence President, decree that turkey Shall go ,up to 20 cent-?. That's about all there is to it. Once the country raised its own, and the White House proclamation was not greeted with a gr» an. Father simply grabbed the hatchet, mother got the water hot. father read the proclamation to the turkeys in the 10t,..,a1l the young and female turkeys promptly fainted from the shock, anil after due farewells the gobbler laid his head upon the block. No one telephoned the butchdr. asking what a turkey cost. No one in his deep resentment wished the Pilgrims had been lost. No one. while the feast proceeded. knew the torment of the rack figuring upon his napkin what me day had set him back. Everybody was provided, as the founders pre-supposed. No one can be very thankful, if the truth should be disclosed, paying what we pay for turkey, and. for all of Heaven’s gifts, feeling that the day was founded for the Armours and Swifts,

November gets its name from the Latin Novem (nine), and it was originally the ninth month ,■ of the year. This brought Thanksgiving around two months earlier than we have it now, and it became very unpopular. The insurgents. who constituted a majoritv in the agricultural districts, were bitterly opposed to it. They made two contentions: First, that voung turkeys were not old .enough to market; second, that crops had not progressed to the point where it was possible' to make out whether there was anything to be thankful for or not. In 713 B. C. the storm broke. The insurgents carried Gaul, Britannia and 17 other doubtful states, and the Forum immediately assembled and made November the eleventh month of the year.

The festive colt will sniff the air and don his heavy underhair, and the frenzied candidate will jump and hop around upon the stump. He’ll point with pride and view with fear, and suck and, blow the atmosphere, and then, together with his cult, await with prayer the result. Does reason haply hold its sway, or is it madness for a day will tell the people what to think and put the country on the blink? One cannot tell, but must abide the count that sees him justified in courage, confidence or doubt, according as it may turn out. One thing alone is sure, it seems, and that is this: no one esteems a patriot in politics. We only trust him while he sticks to war. with all its thrill and throb. The moment that he wants a job somewhat conspicuous for pay. by Jove!, we don’t know what to say. But whether we do ill or well, election day alone cannot tell, or whether love for us and fear did any good, will then appear. We have to judge men as we may, and where the candidates all say about the same thing in the end, one scarcely knows who is a friend.

At any rate the snow r will fly, and the wild duck spin across the sky - with both eyes focused on "the ground, and his tail-piece going round and round. The eager hunter will deploy and supplement the liye decoy,and the pneumococcus, while he toots, will perforate his rubber boots. A little shooting now and then is relished by a lot of men. They like to gallivant about and let the farmers run them out. It does them good to feel, by jing, that Morgan donT oun everything, and also tried to climb the

fence, together with his dog and gun, he, too, to-ould also get the run. 1

November will be unusual this year for the reason that there will be no full moon. This is because there will be a total eclipse of the moon on the night of the 16th. when it would otherwise be full. This eclipse will be visible fn the United States and in Wall street, and it will send bacori down a couple of points.

The breath of Winter will distil upon the outer windowsill, and the chilling calf will hump his back and burrow deeper in the stack. The hired man. with wintry spurts will put on both his undershirts, and the plutocrat who sells us coats will pry our bodies from our souls.

Then let us all embrace the chance and be as merry as we may, for whether we desist or dance, the fiddler is for all to pay. The gentle autumntime will pass, the countryman will kill his hogs, the cotton-tail will weave the grass around the obfuscated dogs, the honking goose will ride the heights with that weird hollering of his, and the wolf will sit around o’ nights and tell the moon how thin he 4s.^ O woe is us that’could enjoy the autumntime for aye and aye, and what with growing soul employ its witchery from day to day. The phosphorescence in the sky, the quail soft-piping on the hill, the blackbirds ever bobbing by, and the wind soft-sighing where it will. But happiness can never last, as Antony could apprehend, and holding Clco to him fast, destroyed himself before the end. The summer cometh after spring, and winter,- merciless withal, as .truly must succeed the sweet and gentle blandishments of fall.