Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 56, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 October 1910 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DVNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS. DVERSITY may be a good thing, i < but when misfortune comes to us ■ in the guise of prosperity you can hear j us rejoice u iafiie away. If you aren t in the procession you I are either above or below the average. The man who doesn't know I* most assiduous about distributing the rknowledge that he hasn't got. The kind of hat a man wears isn't always indicative of his brain power. He laughs best who laughs when be feels Uke it. 'jhere is often a perceptible connection between hot air and cold feet. Trying to make connections with a | belated train of thought is as exasIperating as having Christmas Weather tn June. As long as they say nothing about ft it doesn't make any difference what- | ever to us bow much other people I want to have their own way. • It is better to have an excuse without any use for it than to have a use without any excuse for it. There may be some people who are fond of a dogmatic man. but up to date nobody has ever met them. There are people who are too good natnred to be really busy.

Went the'Limit

“1 hear Jags, the artist, has reformed?” “Yes; he has cut out the flowing bowl.” “Think be is in earnest ?’ “Indeed be is. He only paints in water colors now.”

To Foil the Flying Machine. . “Is this the secretary of war?” “It is.” answered the office boy unblushingly. "What can Ido for you?” The great inventor drew closer and looked mysterious. “You know Japan is about to go to war with us.” “Is that so?” queried the office boy without betraying the least excitement "Yes. it is. and I am here with a scheme to circumvent her and her flying machines.” "Spring it.” “It is to dig a tunnel through the earth and come up under her with an army. Ode million, please.” Always the Way. The doctors frown on pie and cake. We rather thought they would A fuss about these dainties make Because they are so good.

Better. “I always hope for the best” “Do you?' “Yes.” “Can't you do better?” “Better than hope for the best?” “Yes.” “How could I?” “Do a little hard work for it”

A True Sport. “I suppose you have a gay life since you moved to town?” “Oh. 1 burn up a dollar occasionwr “Do you patronize the theater much?” “There isn't a week I don't go to the moving picture show.” Good Giri. “She is a wonderfully fascinating girl.” “Can sing all the popular songs, I suppose? " ; ' ./ : “Yes.” “I don't call that fascinating.” “But she doesn’t”