Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 53, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 October 1910 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

ax DVNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS.

ANYBODY who can’t understand out way of looking at things is sure tc have some sort of a kink in the running gear of his thought machine. The thinking people who don’t teli what they think are often very kind to us thereby. .. ; A man may be fond of a fool when it is himself, but bates to be told of At Small troubles are the sort that other people have. If you want to know just about how much ice you really cut. get an estimate from the man who doesn’t like you. The disturber of the peace is the one who always gets attention. If you don't like to do it, don’t make the mistake of thinking that you do it well. The man who doesn’t enjoy being ashamed of himself is likely to keep out of touch with questionable things. No Self Conceit.

“I am going to do one thing to make people happy" “Are you?’ “1 am determined upon it.” “What is it?” ,“L iv e to a great age.” “Huh! Nothing conceited about you!” “No; jusLthink

how happy they will all be when 1 finally shuffle!” Married a Count. “Why are you looking so downcast. Ethel?” “I have a lot of domestic unhappiness. Maud." “Have you?” “Yes. and 1 hear that you have the same.” . “Not quite the same.” “No?” “No; mine is foreign.” Some Compliment. “How deep are the falls?” asked the inquisitive woman. “I don’t know, madam; I never fell over them.” “I should think there would be an easier way than that for a muscular person like yourself to find out.” “How would you suggest?” “You might swim up them.” No Handicap. “Arc you going to the beaches this summer.” “No, my deah fellah.” “Aren’t you ?” “No.” “Why not?” “Deah me! Don't you know I come of an old and aristocratic family?’ “Oh, well, they won’t hold that against you there!”

Cautious. The price that we the storeman pay Is high enough, it’s safe to say. He does not aim to lose, we hope, A million on a cake of soap. rt» ■ Cold Storage. “Yon say he is a very religious man?” “Very.” “I never noticed any religion about him.” “Didn’t you?” “No; I wonder where he keeps it” “At the church.” Smelled a Mouse. “Our civilization is founded on the accumulated wisdom of the ages.” “It ain’t no such thing!” “Ah. it isn’t, isn't it? Pray, then, cn what is it founded?” ■ ' “Gasoline.” Back to the Grind. School days! Oh, yes! Hot stuff , And well enough Forthe lay Who sees them from far away And traces Only the high places Where he hit On his flit From entrance time To the heights sublime, - Where on-the rostrum proud he stood And sawed wood Right in the public eye. High Above the common herd. And spoke the word That, heeded, would set things right On graduation night. The petty troubles he forgets. Lets Them slip a*ay into forgetfulness. And lays no stress On the weary day. Now far away. When he almost went into a decline Trying to prove that four and three were nine. And, say. Locating Baffin’s bay Is no snap \ If you can't find it on the map! And getting grammar right Is a pure delight. Provided a pretty girl is near To whisper in your ear - If she can look In the baok When the teacher's eye Is watching Johnny Jones kill a fly. Yes. we praise , School days f . When toward the hazy past We cast A retrospective eye; but. like as not, ft's different on the spot. Ask the kid.