Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 July 1910 — HUMOROUS QUIPS [ARTICLE]

HUMOROUS QUIPS

The Pursuit [They are cnasing norse thieves with motorcars iu Kansas now.—News Item. J Come, crank your swift auto and Jump to the wneel: ;j ’ We need alt cne. strength ot its quivering steel. For fbrty’-nve horses are gone in th* mgnt. ~■ And we must give chase to the robbers in flight. If forty-flve norms are stolen and gone A motor of sixty should catch them by dawn. And we’li run down the' thieves as they gallop away And string them up high, as they do tn a play. Across the "pray-rare-ree” we buoyantly bound » With wheels that seem scarcely to stay on the ground. The sparker is working with perfect eclat. The piston is doing much better than that. The— Hist! There's a cloud in the distance, and—see!— The robbers are scattering tacks as they flee: Swing oft from the path! Take a chance '■■■■ at the fence! The way that she cleared it is something immense: And now we are close on the trail—let 'er go: They’re riding their best, but their best is too slow. You tend to your driving. I’ll shoot when 1 must. Bang! mere .s one robber who’s bitten the dust Surrounded by autos they give up at last; The horses are sivwi and the robbers bound fast-. ■ • ■ ' And the ma: says ne is sure it will go As the fines: ot turns' at a vaudeville snow. : . A Pedagcr'ccl Tragedy. Dorothy ;s in f.urtb grade, and she gets good HKirks in everything except arithmetic. AV lien her father asked her why she imide such low marks in arithmetic she replied thus: ••Welk it is like this: The teacher says, 'Four plus 8 minus 3 multiplied by 2 divided by 6,' and asks me what the answer is. She talks so fast I can’t keep up with her. and I have to guess the answer. and I always guess wrong.”— Harper’s Weekly. Why the Kitties Cried. Wallie. aged six. found four little kittens in the cellar. A visitor, being told of them, expressed a desire to have a peep at the new baby_ pussies. Wallie went to fetch them, and soon pitiful mewing was heard below. “Don’t hurt the kitties. Wallie." called out his mamma. “No. mamma.” shouted the boy. ‘Tm bringing them up carefully. I’m carrying, them hi tlreir stems’’—Scraps.