Jasper County Democrat, Volume 13, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 May 1910 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DVNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS.

the world’s a stage, and the box office receipts are as disappointing as those of any other mediocre stage. The only men who ever know all about women fail to be born. Women aren’t really afraid of mice. They only let men think they are because men want to think so. It gives a man a chance to be brave and heroic in his own eyes without the slightest personal risk. Clever women! Conscience may be a handicap, but it seldom works to hurt anything.

Man born of woman is of few days and often sees them double. The trouble about the biggest bargains is that they are so apt to be those things that we don’t want at any price. Consider the cost of legal proceedings before you permit yourself to do any thing rash or foolish.

The trouble is that we are so apt to think that most of our kindness is unappreciated and misplaced. The meek in these days inherit the vacuum where desirable things used to be. A baseball game is designed for the special effervescence of the genus homo. A thoughtful person is the type that Is apt to get under the epidermis when we aren’t looking.

As He Testify. “I’d like to see a bold holdup man.” ’ “I see one every day.” “Mercy! Do you?” “The same one.” “Why don’t you have him arrested?” “That would never do.” “Why?’ “Because it is my wife.”

Precaution. "Ma.” “Yes." “I wish you would tell Santa Claus that I have some of those cigars left that he brought me last Christmas.” The “ultimate consumer” is the man who ultimately consumes the meat which a long term in cold storage has failed to consume. John H. Converse Dead. John H. Converse, of the Baldwin Locomotive works, and one of the most prominent Presbyterian laymen in the United States, died suddenly at his home in Philadelphia.