Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 68, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 December 1909 — CHARITY BREAKS RULE ADE MADE [ARTICLE]

CHARITY BREAKS RULE ADE MADE

He Furnishes a Fame to Contrihiite to Christmas Joy. POINTS PEN AT BUSINESS MEN Preaches That as the Wave of Prosperity Now Has Caused Things to Take on a “Fine and Fancy” Aspect It Is Up to Those Who Have It to Give It So Their Money Bring Yuletide Cheer to Many Undestined to Wade Into the Surf of Plenty. Chicago, Dec. 7. —Chicago this year has planned a big charity ball for December 15 to prpvide Christmas cheer for the many to whom the “wave of prosperity" is as much a stranger as the Manhattan beach breaker is to the apex of Pike’s Peak. George Ade who (some time ago vowed that never again would he write a fable has surrendered to the warmth of his Indiana heart and to aid in the campaign of “jimmying” into bank accounts to help the needy he has taken his pen in hand and has contributed the following: Once there was a Representative Business Man who lived in Chicago and often sat at the Head Table with Flowers in front of him when some Association pulled off a banquet. He was a prominent citizen and never tried to deny it, because it was no Use. His Roll-top Desk was so placed that through an open Doorway he could see the bright-faced young Book-Keepers jumping nimbly from the Day-Book to the Ledger, while from the Window he could size up the large Red Wagons being loaded with Merchandise for Mendota, Minn.; Hiawatha, Kan., and Plattsburg, Mo. Every time a Wagon pulled out of the Alley, he could figure on another Pearl for Pettie’s Rope. It is a Gay Life when you get Things coming your Way. One Day while he was tilted back trying to decide whether he would build a new Palace at Lake Geneva. Oconomowoc or Highland Park, a Friend floated into his Office and wanted to know about the Times. “Fine and Fancy.” “Fine’ and Fancy,’ replied the Business Man. “The Country is staggering with Surplus Collateral. The Air is surcharged with Hope. Behold the Z Farmer! This is the week of the Fat Stock Show and you can’t help but Behold Him. He has a new Fur Overcoat that hasn’t moulted very much as yet, a Flippenheimer suit of College Clothes with Pockets on the Blas and Buttons in the most unexpected Places (such as you see advertised on the Back Page of any Weekly Paper published in the East and supported in the West), and say. you can’t touch him with a Ten Foot Pole* He has Corn in the Crib. Live Stock in the FeedYard and Money in the Bank and this is his Year to Aviate."

“His Prosperity will be transmitted to other and less Industrious Members of the Community,'’ suggested the Visitor. “You know it." responded the Business Man. “When he begins to Jar Loose and let a Current of Air come between him and alt that Currency, the whole Works will begin to Hum. Why. in every E-Flat Town of the Middle West the bloated Peasantry are putting in Hurry Orders for Red Autos, SilverPlated Cream Separators. Caruso Records. Upright Pianos. Lavender Colored Rugs and Crayon Portraits of Deceased Relatives With the Movement of Crops the Railroads will get Theirs, the Country Merchant will get His and then in Due Time. T. the Person really most concerned in the return of the American People to a Basis of Solid Prosperity will get Mine —in Bales,. Bundles. Crates and Caddies.” "Sand on the Track.’* “I am delighted to hear it.” said the Visitor, "as I am here this morning to get to you on behalf of the Charity Ball.” 3 “Perhaps I spoke in Haste." said the Merchant Prince, throwing a little Sand on the Track and Trying to Reverse. “In some Respects this promises to be a Tough Year. The Cost of Living is very high and the Wave of Prosperity has not yet hit the Wage-Earn-ers in the Big Cities so that you could Notice it.’’ “Quite true,” said the Visitor. "That is exactly why the Ladles need the Money.” " And he showed him where to sign his Name.